My son’s funerel was on Thursday, hardest thing in the world to go through.I don’t know what to do with myself. Miss him so much and so sad all of the time. A young man with his whole life in front of him. It’s heartbreaking.I will never be the same again
I’m so sorry for your loss. My sons funeral was just over 2 years ago. I know I was there but it feels like another person. It was hellish. Give yourself time and breathing space to process everything.
Your right things will never be the same and you will feel his loss and the sadness that comes with his loss everyday but bit by bit you will cope with that sadness in your own way. Sending hugs
Sorry for your loss too, I’m sorry for every one in this awful situation. I’m finding it a struggle to do anything at the moment. Just feel like I’m in a bad dream, how I wish it was. It’s early days … as everyone keeps reminding me .thanks for your support, love Tracey xx
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss Faith and understand your loss. I don’t think anyone can understand our loss of losing a child. I lost my lovely, funny and adorable son David 2 years ago. I am all alone these days without grandchildren or even family and all seem to have got over without mentioning him…I am heartbroken, the pain is a little easier but I am nowhere near acceptance at the moment. I wish you all well and hope you have peace.
Thankyou, I know it’s early days but I can’t imagine ever getting over losing my son.life will never be the same again for us now. How can it be .people do not get it at all, I suppose you can’t expect them to , the pain and heartache is there all of the time isn’t it . A young man with his whole life in front of him. How do we get over that .sorry for your loss . Hope time helps us all a little eventually. Tracey xx
Hello Faith,
I lost my son Sam who was 34 to a brain tumour in December 2016. He had an operation to remove the tumour in Jan 2013, but it came back in a place they couldn’t operate. He died here at home in my arms with his family and his very best friend around him. That was just over 2 years ago and I would give my life just to have him back, we all thought he would make it but he was re diagnosed in August '16. You never get over the loss of a child whatever age, you learn small baby steps at first to walk alongside your grief. I can now smile at people and I have some very close friends who have never left my side, and for which I am very grateful. If you have anyone close and you feel you can talk about your son to anyone who will listen tell them how proud you are of him. I know I talk about Sam all the time as it makes me feel closer to him. I will not talk of Sam in the past tense he was too brave and too well loved as I am sure your son was to ever put him in the past.
With love
Helen
Thankyou all for your support, yesterday was a bad day. Didn’t know what to do with myself, tears all day and couldn’t do anything but that. I’m struggling . I can’t seem to do anything but think of his last 2 hours which was traumatic. We had to say goodbye to him at the hospital as there was nothing they could do to save him. It was a cardiac arrest. Heartbreaking. I know I, ll never be the same .miss him so much .love Tracey xx
My mum would like me to get out of the house today ,I’m quite happy to sit here all day thinking. She’s suggested a walk and a coffee but I really don’t feel like it.if anyone suggests going out I feel guilty at the thought. I always think about my son and what he would be doing and what he should have been doing.he used to spend every other weekend with his girlfriend and then she would come here. I’m also finding that my friends don’t really know how to be with me. All I want to do I suppose is talk about my son and how I feel. I can’t help it. Also other people have suggested I try and get back to work. I couldn’t cope with work . Thankyou all again for your support, I’ve read all of your posts and my heart goes out to all of you. With love xx
Hello Faith
I know exactly how you feel, but how would you son feel about you just staying there. A walk would be good and also you can reflect on your son as well whilst your walking. I used to walk all the time where Sam and I walked over those last few months just reflecting but it did help. Yes you’re right to want to talk about him, that is good and only natural and if it makes you feel OK that’s fine. Your mum is trying to help you, she has lost her grandson but she is being strong for you.
With love Helen
Hi Helen, I did manage to go for a walk and coffee with mum.whenever I go out I feel like I’m in a dream if that makes sense. Think I need to keep pushing myself to do small things . I went to the library as well on the way home and they have ordered me a couple of books on coping with bereavement. I,ll try anything that helps with the grief. Thanks again .love Tracey xx
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Hi Faith
that’s really good, it is small steps. I know the first time I tried to go in a supermarket, and I had my closest friend with me I couldn’t move and just kept shaking, but then I got I couldn’t walk round the supermarket without Dee by my side. Yes feeling like you’re in a dream is natural, just take each day in small doses break the day up. There is only one person that will help with your grief and first that’s you, second that’s your mum who will be with you every step of the way…your son would hate to see you unable to cope, unable to live what is left of your life. He loves you and he will show you, please keep a watch out for white feathers that appear out of nowhere, I still get feathers and know that is Sam. No one who has not been through the trauma of losing a child will ever know the grief, and it is all that harder because it’s not the natural order. That said, when you think of your son think of all the things that made you proud of him, that made you smile and it will help.
with love Helen
So do sorry to hear of your loss. Both of my sons have died six and a half years ago and eighteen months ago … they were adults but it seems like my whole future is gone. I don’t have any wise words … it’s shocking and awful but I will say the sadness settles into your heart and soul as time goes on a bit. It’s just so hard to get your head round … no one expects their children to leave this life before their mum do they. De ding you love a d understand hun x
I lost my daughter totally unexpectedly 4 days before Christmas 2017. The grief was terrible, and though I can’t promise to say it goes away - it doesn’t- I suppose I have to say it gets somewhat easier to bear with time. I find myself picking up on old strands of my life, but of course I have to try to accept that it is a very different life to the old one, where my dear daughter lived with her partner just down the road from me. I wish you strength and hope.
So sorry hun … I lost my eldest son September 2012 and then his younger brother July 2017 … they were 33 and 36. It’s so so shocking to have your future ripped away like that isn’t it. I agree we have to somehow go life but got me it will never ever be the same … I miss the laughter and the jokes etc. I miss their physical presence. Life goes on but Is so much more muted … colours arent so bright… e erythjbg is dulled down somehow. Husband has had a breakdown so is no support really. I think the grief settles into our heart and souls and we just fake it most of the time. I hope you are managing to get a tiny glimmer of light and enjoyment in your life Faith. It’s hard for others to understand isn’t it. They are safe in our hearts for ever …, but we want them here. Sending you hugs from one mum to another, Sue xx
Thankyou all for your reply s, I’m just trying to get through 1 hour at a time at the mo.so hard. For you to lose both of your son’s must have been totally devastating. My heart goes out to you, and everyone else who is suffering. I know my life will never be the same again, I just want him back, 25 years of age with his whole life to live. So so cruel. How I will find the strength to carry on without him in my life god only knows.like you I miss the jokes, laughter hugs and just being his mum and everything that comes with that. . Love to all and a hug xx
HIfaith , so sorry for your loss to lose two sons I cannot believe what heart ache you must be going through , we lost our lovely daughter Dawn 2016 and I know I will never get over it , , Love to you and keep posting we are all here for you . Hugs Maddie xx
Hi maddie, I lost the one son 5 weeks ago, truly heartbreaking and wondering how I’m going to carry on. Sorry for your sad loss also, love and thanks.Tracey xx
I lost my daughter on new years day this year and I feel exactly the same as you do. I’m still telling myself she be home soon from school just to get me though the day. My heart feels like it’s been rip out and life will never be same again.
Like you say there are no words,I really feel for you .I’m having a job getting through each hour and still feel like I’m in a dream.I don’t feel anything anymore only pain and sorrow. Hope that work goes okay for you, it’s a big step .love Tracey xx
So sorry for you, like you I’m expecting to see my son walk through the door, no words is there. Heartbreaking. I try and get through each hour at a time, that’s all I’m capable of .love Tracey xx