Hell is other people

I’ve just had an email from my godmother, who was a close friend of my Mum’s when they were younger.

I have kept her updated with how I’m feeling as she seemed quite concerned initially (my Mum died 11 weeks ago today).

I sent her a photograph of my Mum’s grave which has flowers, a windchime and some solar lights. She wasn’t able to come to the funeral and I thought she would like to see where it was.

She has emailed me today and amongst other things, has told me that she thinks the texts my Mum and I used to send each other were excessive (we sent lots but so what!!!) and that the decoration on the grave is also excessive and “would your mother have wanted that”.

I am so angry and upset. I can’t reply to her yet or I’ll be very rude.

She doesn’t know the relationship between me and my Mum. Yes, my Mum would have loved what I’ve done with her grave and even if she didn’t, my Mum would want me to do what makes me feel better and making sure her grave looks beautiful and well cared for is very important to me.

How can people be so insensitive?

Because there tw*ts that’s why.
You blooming ignore her, do what makes you feel right and brings comfort.


I have no idea. I got the same sort of nonsense when my husband died.

I’d say to her simply that you are doing the best you can, in very trying circumstances. If she cannot accept that, or doesn’t answer, I wouldn’t bother to contact her again. If she contacts you, please try not to lose your temper, but deal with her briskly. Tell her that your mother has died, and whatever she is going through, you are going through much, much more.

Christie xxx

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That’s a shame for you
People are insensitive they just can’t help it and I don’t think they mean to hurt you !

When my husband died (we were not married though in the eyes of the law ) my sister in law would phone me up and talk about her husband grief his brother
I couldn’t cope with my grief let alone some else

At one point I did completely loose it with her
Then I felt guilty for shouting at her

Your probably find she is jealous of your relationship with your mum
You do what’s best for you
And if she keeps upsetting you
Don’t have contact with her
You need people around you that can support and comfort you at this sad time

Sending my love

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@Scottie10 thank you - I hadn’t considered that she might be jealous and I think you are so right. Thank you for your words of support, they help. xx

@Christie, thank you. Yes I will respond to her but I can’t trust myself to do it today. I won’t lose my temper but yes, “briskly” is a good idea. thank you for taking the time to reply and give support xx

@Paula51 thank you :slight_smile: That made me smile. Thank you for replying xx