Hello everyone

I am going through what I hope is at temporary blip, after six months of coping with the grief of losing the love of my life, I suddenly seem more fragile than ever.
I notice others are feeling the same.
We shared a life time together, so I am so grateful for what we had together. I am just trying to find a way through, these Lockdowns are making everything so much harder for us all.
I hope by sharing we can support each other, no one really understands unless they too have sadly lost.

Welcome Alice to this site, it certainly helps to know that we are not alone in feeling bereft and alone, I always find it strange that people expect you to back to normal after a few short weeks, but as you know this is not the case, I think you learn to live with it, it does get easier in time but you never stop missing them, sending love Jude xx

Hello AliceA,
I can so relate to what you write. I am at about the same place in my grief journey. Lost my wonderful husband just under seven months ago. Thought I was coping fairly well considering, and then began experiencing
such waves of grief that I felt knocked to my knees. So sorry for your loss and sorry that we are all in this same sad boat. This forum has been a great help to me and I hope that it does the same for you. Caring people and a good place to vent and share your pain and find support. Wishing you well and sending a virtual hug. Jane2

Thank you Jude, yes others expectations just add to the pain. X

Thank you so much Jane, I was at a real low this morning, I did not want to face anyone, this warned me so I went to chat on Cruse and I was directed here. I am grateful for that. AliceA x a a big hug back

Dear @AliceA, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. 64 years together, wow, that’s amazing, and it must be so difficult to now be without him. I am glad you are trying to keep busy, that is so inspirational, and I love your avatar, the colours are brilliant. I hope you have a nice evening.

Dear Abullah, thankyou so much, the picture reminded me of the poem about marriage in The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.
We had challenges but we managed together. He flirt with me to the end.
People thought we read each other’s mind. Thank you for your understanding on here.
I feel I can express my grief without upsetting people, as a society we do not cope with people’s grief, when I was a child people wore a black armband and people even strangers were more gentle. I am not suggesting that! However it seems people deny grief as they deny death, it does not happen if they ignore it! Thank you for being on here. AliceA

1 Like

Dear @AliceA, I have never read anything by Kahlil Gibran, but the picture really is stunning. Do you still read? Was your husband a reader too?

I love the fact you managed to stay married for that many years, nearly all marriages have their challenges, 64 years is amazing, my mum was a 2 year old baby when you got married, how awesome is that!

That’s interesting to read society coped differently with grief before, these days, you mention you have lost someone and the other person’s face is like they have seen a ghost. Many people definitely don’t know how to cope when talking to the bereaved, do they?

Yes I read but nothing emotional, I am easily triggered, the Prophet is a wise little book, we have given so many away, it tackles life in all its forms.
64 years flew by, we lived so many ways and took chances. We spoke a lot, I checked he had no regrets, he said only that we not had met sooner. I know we will be together in some form. Love at first sight, not lust, it was cold I had a red nose and blue face! There you have made me smile!

1 Like

And I think YOU have made people smile too AliceA with your red nose and blue face! Just wanted to say congratulations on 64 years of marriage. My wonderful husband and I lived and loved together for 57 years. There is nothing in the world like a good solid loving marriage and I would give anything to have it all again. All the best to you x

@AnnR yours was a life time too, not everyone is as fortunate. I was furious inside when I was referred to as a widow, I retorted I was still a wife, now married for the two of us!
This is how it feels in so many ways.
I am responsible for the love to continue to those we both cared about together.
I remember when we were checking on care issues and being told when one went into care the other was treated as a single person!
As if the marriage was just shredded.


That’s terrible! No wonder you were angry.
Yes, I hate the word widow too. When I am asked about my marital status, I always say ‘married, but unfortunately my husband has died’. They invariably come back with ‘so you’re a widow then’. Always accompanied by a very strange look. Wait until it’s their turn. They’ll understand then.
My granddaughter is here today. She is 18 and brilliant company. We are just off for a walk to the village duck pond. It’s a lovely day here.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your day.
Ann x