Dear CatP21
You are very welcome, I am glad that you have been given some comfort, The photo is of Julie and her daddy.
Please don’t punish yourself for a child which is born out of love.
Take care, stay safe,
Mary x
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Hi CatP21. My ex husband had an affair with a friend of mine and she became pregnant. I was totally devastated when I found out and never ever told anyone, not even my own family. My friend even had the baby - his daughter at the maternity home where I worked so I had to bath her, change her etc as part of my job. I feel that telling your lover’s family now is not the right time-if ever. I remember the raw pain I felt at being so betrayed. Let his family grieve without adding shock and more upset at this time. Maybe things will change later but for now I suggest you keep your promise.
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Hi Jean,
Thank you for your advice.
I am so sorry that you had to live through that on your own; I know that might sound disingenuous because I’ve been the ‘other woman’. As a young woman, until recently, I lived in the moment and never really thought about the consequences of my actions, I convinced myself I was a good person and that it was “true love” and that we were soulmates, and used that as a reason to legitimise my actions. I still believe we were soulmates, but I could and should have acted more decently. I see now the huge mistakes that I made, and have vowed never to repeat them. Non of us are perfect, me less so than some, but I have promised to learn from my mistakes and be a better person. I am not intending to reach out his family. I was a secret and let myself be a secret and just because he isn’t here doesn’t mean it’s ok for me to tell them about us. I hope you’re able to have a nice weekend x
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Hi CatP21. I’m sure you felt that it was true love, just am I am sure that my ex husband’s mistress did. I never blamed her because in my case he had told her he was waiting for a divorce along with other untruths. I’m sure she loved him completely even though he didn’t leave me . In fact I was the one that sent maintenance every week until he eventually left both of us for someone else entirely different.
I hope life works out well for you and that your child knows that she was loved and wanted. I later met and married the true love of my life and lost him 20 weeks ago after 4o plus years. Good luck.
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