I’m from Manchester and work as a teaching assistant in a school for autistic children, I’m here because one of the children I looked after for 2 years died suddenly at the age of 7 over a year ago and I have been struggling ever since. I’m also a very anxious person and don’t have many friends

Hello AshM,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling about the passing of one of your students. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi AshM
Just read your post Its heartbreaking when a child that you knew so well passes away. i was a Headteacher for 25yrs and a teacher for 10 before that and during this time many children in my care passed away. It is one of the saddest things ever.I used to ask the question WHY?
I dont think we will ever know the answers but not seeing them in school really hurts. There are so many memories, photos and belongings that are still left.
I can remember having their brothers and sisters still at school so that was also difficult.
Nothing can replace the lovely bond you had with the child. That’s what school life is all about. It’s bonding with little children and nurturing them to be the best version of themselves and making sure they aim to believe in themselves no matter what. When those aims are stopped its crushing and the blow left to others is agonising.
Try to focus on remembering them as perhaps you would with a child who maybe left the school and you wouldnt see again. I remember teaching a little girl in my first year of teaching who emigrated to Australia and I was devastated. She was one of the children who was just so lovely. That was 45 yrs ago as I am now retired and I still think of her. So what I am saying is you will always think of the child you knew and what could have been for him or her.
You just have to find ways to help you now.
Maybe as you say you dont have many friends you could post on here as people on here are all your on line friends and really do understand.
Thinking of you
Deborah x