Hi just saying hello to anyone that is feeling very low now, I know I am today, not for any particular reason, only that grief hits you when you least expect it.
Weekend is nearly here again I don’t know where the time is going, it’s been 8 months now since I lost my brother and feels like yesterday again
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It will be 3 months on Sunday since I lost my mum. Have been feeling particularly low over the last week. Sending a virtual hug xx
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Oh sorry for your loss, early stages ,it’s very hard sending you hugs as well
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Thank you ,yes it comes and goes each day is different isnt it, but wecwill get there take care
Hello
I feel very low at the moment. I cry a lot. Very depressed and some anxiety. It has been 8 months since partner died and you are right it seems like yesterday. I do not have a family and less contact with friends - who were supportive in the beginning. I relate very much how you feel. Living alone is horrible - we lived together for 41 years.
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So sorry you are so alone, i have family and a husband so a lot of people around me ,having said that they dont seem to really understand why i still feel so unhappy as its been 8 months. I tbink we are all different and some can get over things a lot quicker ,sadly for us its more difficult, but theres always someone to chat to on here when you are feeling at your lowest ,its really helping me knowing i can talk openly on here and no judgement. Sending you support and hugs
I do not know if anyone else feels the same but I never used to worry about my health but now that I live alone without a family I worry a lot about every ache or pain that I have. Some are genuine and others are caused by stress I am sure. I am very light-headed and rushing around bumping into furniture not really being aware of anything. I am told it is an adrenalin rush, but it is very scary - still happening after 8 months. No-one to talk to about it.
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Jenny8. Thanks. I have no-one to talk about it. I am in meltdown every day. A friend said that I can phone her but I do not like to bother friends so have to turn to this forum.
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I’m on my own too. If something happened to me I worry about my 2 cats. If I died at home they would probably eat me, at least that would keep them going for a while. Sending a virtual hug xx
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I understand that, we moved away from family 20 years ago, I haven’t really made any friends up here but my best friend always says if you ever need me iam here, but I really don’t feel that I can call her as she’s so busy with her grandchildren all the time .
That’s why I come on this forum at least we all understand what each other is going through ,please be kind to yourself and try and take each day at a time, I know how hard it is x
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Sorry you are so alone , but having people around you still makes me feel as though iam on my own as not everyone can understand how you feel, I never thought for one minute I would be joining a group like this, I have lost both parents and one sister, but loosing my brother has been the hardest, I think because he was still so young and it was unexpected and wasn’t able to say goodbye, I just can’t get it out of my head, sending you and everyone a big hug today whoever needs it take care
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At least we are not alone. I worry what would happen if I died or had dementia - know one would know. My partner died of a stroke whilst watching TV so even if he had a buzzer he could not move so could not have pressed it. Forunately I was there but it could be me on my own. Not good even thinking about it.
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Sending you hugs i know its hard ,just keep talking when ever you need to
Hi Jenny.
Yes, lost my twin on 4th September 2021, that was the last day my mum left the house alive, we left at 11:50 on that Saterday morning, I am slightly clarevoyant and I knew my twin had passed but said nothing to my mum, we were in the hair dressers when I got a call from my twins tearful wife to tell me what I already knew, he had passed at the time I realised.
I have a lady friend(met last week in church) her sister has severe dementia(lost my mum to that in January last) so I may well be finding myself in the role of grief councillor to her when the time comes(seems to be a lot of grieving and death these days)
Grief is like a school bully, only worse, you cannot see it, and out of the blue it can prod you in the back just to let you know its still there and can make your life hell, you can put a knife into a bully (been there, done that 
!!!) but you cannot put a knife into grief.
There are some 16 types of grief, but they are all veriations of a theme so to speak, having said that grief effects you psychologically, neurologically, and physiologically,so all grief is different, your grief journey is unique to you. it effects every cell in the mind and body and it does make permanent changes to the brain, and grief is the pain of the mind and body adjusting, and sometimes in the case of old people it is just to much and they demise, POST BEREAVEMENT MORTALITY kills thousands every year, I should know, I was almost one of them, so my interest in the subject is rather more then mere accademia, you can do PHD’s in grief if you so wish, its important you work through your grief properly, otherwise down the road in a few years time you may develop complications like complex grief, know that is one of the worst types of grief to have and its very hard to treat and requires medical intervention.
Hope this helps, talk if you wish.
Blessings to you 
Tim
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Thank you so much
Hi Jenny, ask me anything you wish and I will try to find an answer, wish I could do more for you, I know what it is, I have lost my twin, 61 is no grate age, but plenty of people die much younger then that, Brain cancer is another horrible killer, ‘In life, we are in death’, one of the lines from my mums eulogy, I more or less ran her funeral service myself.
Blessings to you Jenny
Tim xx
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Thank you, the only thing i keep thinking about is if he was in any pain when he died and how long he felt so poorly. I did speak to him.the week before and as always i say let me know if you ever need me ,as he didnt have a lot of money . I feel guilty that i didnt ring him sooner that week maybe if i had i could of got him help and he may still be here. I know i cant change anything but cant help the way i feel, dorry for your loss as well
Jenny, please do not blame yourself, you are NOT responsible for this tragedy, we have both lost siblings, and neither one of us could effect the outcome, sadly that is life, and in life, we are in death.
Your brother would want you to get on with your life and move on, and the best way you can honour his memory is by doing just that, it is always harder for those left behind then for those who have gone before, for we have to pick up the pieces of our lives and continue to bat at the crease, until, we are in turn out, and return to that grate pavilion from ware we all came, and to ware we all return and be united with our loved ones once again.
Do not blame yourself, the only number that could have helped him was 999 and that is a free number, by blaming yourself you stand to ruin your health needlessly, you may develop complex grief, that is very hard to treat and requires medical intervention, get out into the sun for a brisk walk when ever you can, pamper yourself, seek convivial company with friends and family members, the later will be greaving too, I know what it is to grieve alone as I did for my mum, THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE, and the world looked a very cold, dark, and frightening place and I almost went the same way, POST BEREAVEMENT MORTALITY is a recognised medical fact, if you feel ill during this time you MUST SEE YOUR GP, AND DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
Stay strong.
Blessings to you Jenny, you are in my prayers.
Tim xx
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Thank you so much for that, my husband and I are going on a Norwegian fjords cruise next week ,something I know my brother would have really enjoyed, so I will be thinking about him when we are there, but hopefully with a smile on my face. Most days I am fine but it does tend to creep up on you when you least expect it. I won’t to get on with my life and try to think positive but not always that easy, and I do know he wouldn’t want me to feel like this. I am glad you are doing ok and thank you for taking the time to talk . This site really does help me as I know iam not alone god bless you
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Let me know how the cruise goes, I’m booked on a Norwegian cruise this summer but unfortunately am going solo. Hope you enjoy yourselves x
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