Help needed

Seven months now since I lost my husband of 53 years. He was fit and healthy, we had lots of plans , but a bleed on the brain changed everything in a split second. I am only now beginning to remember things about him, things he said and really how he looked. Up until now I couldn’t remember these things. Is this normal, has anyone else felt like this?

Hi hainey

I lost my mum to a sudden bleed on the brain 7 months ago too. Its so hard to accept isnt it? Mum was fit and active one minute, gone the next.
I struggle alot with it.
I cant really answer your questions but wanted to let you know I’m going through the same thing. Mum was only 74. My dad died of a sudden heart attack when he was 53 and died instantly.
Cheryl x

Hello, hainey,
I do believe it is normal to be forgetful in times of grief. my husband died suddenly and I was the one who found him on our bedroom floor. We were married for 59 years. my memory seems to have gone walkabout since then. I have multiple medical conditions and I am practically housebound. You have my sympathy and understanding, take good care of yourself.

My David was 74 also and like your mum was very fit and healthy. It is very difficult to understand how this can happen isn’t it.
I am sending you a big hug tonight, take care and thank you for replying

Hi MaryL.
My memory in the beginning was non existent but is getting better now. It was worrying me so much that all the small things David said we’re missing but over the past few weeks suddenly something pops into my mind from nowhere and I cherish these moments as I was beginning to think there was something so wrong with me. I worried and cried a lot. Still do but at least he is back in my memories although still things appear and I think, of course David said that or I remember small things about our life I had forgotten.
It must be very hard for you when you do not keep in the best of health yourself. Take care and thanks for your support. X

1 Like

Hi Hainey
So sorry to hear about your husband. My dad, around the same age, passed out of nowhere 7 months ago. Fit and healthy, looked 20 yrs younger. My mom has a very difficult time collecting her thoughts. Its the shock. What happened to your lovely husband is so shocking that it gives you some sort of ptsd. Your memories will return and you will enjoy looking back on the good times. Right now, its so hard on you. Posting, reading, responding on this website has been very helpful for me. Cheryl and Mary post thoughtful things and many others too. Be sure to take care of yourself - be sure to eat, and realize that grief is exhausting, if you feel tired, its normal.

1 Like

Hi hainey

Thankyou. I thought mum would live till 90, she was so active and spritely.
They said the bleed was too deep to operate and that she would pass away by morning. She hadnt so we had to wait for tests to see if she had brain activity but she didnt. She died as soon as the life support was switched off
Her brothers and sisters are all in their late 80s. It do hard to accept x

You are very welcome, hainey,
I do remember the very last thing which Stan said to me, I love you loads". I told him that I loved him the same, within a couple of hours he had died.

hainey, thank you from me too. I do appreciate your post.