Needs some to talk to, it been 9 week since my lovly mum passed away suddenly at home. I just feel so lots she was my mum best friend my my everything she was all way there for me when i needed her my heart it broke. Im trying to stay strong for my 3 kids but it so hard im really struggling. Just have a lot of Guilt from that day i could not go in the houses to see my mum like that, or watch them take her away now i wish i did. On the out side people think im doing ok, but inside i am diein…
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though you’re really struggling right now. I think many of our members will identify with your feelings of guilt - it’s really normal, but really painful, to feel guilty when we’re grieving.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Have you read anymore threads on the community? I find so much to relate to on here,it’s comforting.
There’s lots of people who will understand where you’re coming from.
I couldnt watch my mum in her final hours,it was heartbreaking, guilt is one of the things many of us feel,but if you couldn’t be there,than that’s ok. I can’t imagine many parents would want their children to see them suffering, I know my mum wouldn’t have wanted that. (She was my best friend for years)
Hope you find some help on here x
Hi, new member here. It’s coming up 2 years since I lost my mum to cancer. I don’t like to say oh I know how you feel Incase it diminished the persons feelings but I really do. I too am here as I’m struggling to process. Mum passed away in the Christmas holidays 2021 so I had a week left (I work term time) then I took 4 days off before returning thinking the distraction would help & in some ways it did but in others I’m not sure I grieved properly so I’m grieving now still. I went into survival mode dealing with work kids husband family & almost at the same time we lost mum my brothers marriage ended & he sank into alcohol addiction very severe immediately. Myself & other relatives became round the clock carers for him as we couldn’t bear the thought of loosing someone else but this also hindered our grief. No advice unfortunately other than you’re not alone xx
Only 4 days off from work before starting to care for your brother? that’s such a lot. I (vaguely) remember the busy days straight after my mum had died being full of funeral arrangements, and visits from the celebrant etc that the reality of my loss wasn’t at the forefront of my mind all the time.( it’s still not) I think having children/partners to look after also keeps you busy,so it’s not surprising after all you’ve been through you have had no time to process your own loss, I wonder if we’ll ever fully process it. Because it’s so different for each of us (I’d love there to be guide to grieve we could all follow and understand) all we can do on here is chat and hopefully find some common ground or threads that help. Letting people know they’re not alone in this is sometimes all we have to offer, and it’s not to be underestimated. X