help with loss of my wife

hi im new to this site and I am looking for help in coping with loss of my wife I admit I do need help it would be great if I could get some advice how to cope

Hello Chaz ,
I am so sorry about your wife.
Its 16 weeks since i lost my lifelong partner and its the most awful time. Take time to grieve for your wife and be kind to yourself. Don’t fill your days with endless activity.
Ignore people who say things like " you need to move on" " come to terms with it" " keep busy" they mean well but they no idea what it’s like
If you want to sit down and cry do.
Don’t make any big decisions about the future take your time.
I’m going to a counsellor you can say things to them you can’t to family and friends. It helps some people but not others. I find these forums help , they make you realise others are going through the same thing.
Walking in the country on some of our favourite walks is one of the few times I feel more peaceful.
I hope this helps a little, sadly you are not alone in this situation.
Take care J x

thank you I have never felt so ripped apart in all my life we had been together 30 years and it would of been our silver wedding this Tuesday also lindas birthday .what makes it harder is we have worked together for 30 years so have been together 24hrs a day every day I cry buckets every day but not in front of people my name is Charlie but had to put chaz in as it said Charlie was already being used im hoping talking to other people in same situation might help I lost my dad 23yrs ago on xmas day that was crippling but this is 100 times worse thanks for your support x

What a terrible time , for this to happen, so close to Lindas birthday and an anniversary.
My partner would have been 70 this year, 47 years together and 30 years in our house all big celebrations we were looking forward to and our first real year of retirement together.
Like you I feel my whole life has been ripped apart , when you have spent so long together it’s so lonely without them - just no fun or companionship.
I find myself crying all the time . As you say it’s so much worse than I could ever imagine. Take care x

Hello Chaz
So sorry for the loss of your lovely wife,I read your posts and I know what you mean when you say you lost your dad and that was crippling,I am not a stranger to grief I lost my dad ,mam and brother and the grief was all consuming with each loss but yes I lost my lovely husband on March 15th this year and it is a different horrible grief,the loneliness and yearning is as you say 100 times worse,he died suddenly aged 59 yrs ,I am 55,and we spent a lot of time together each day like you and your wife,we were married for 35 years,I just take it one moment at a time,getting through each day,some days I manage to do more than others,it’s the strangest thing ever in life to have to deal with and there are no answers,I too read posts on here as everyone here is struggling with their own loss and trying to find their way through,we are not alone with our sadness,wish I could be more positive ,I have read some posts on here that have lost loved ones who are further along the road and time seems to ease their grief,so for now I will just keep going,I hope you can find some peace too Chaz Take care x

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Just read all the previous posts in this thread. … I too have just joined and at a loss as to what to do… jioned today!.
Lost my Petaldust (I always called her that) just 6 weeks ago. We have been together 58 years and married 56 years.
I live near Darlington in the north east and am now completely on my own my family all live on the south coast and want me to sell up and move soutg. At 76 years the thought of doing that is terrifying. God I feel for you all of you but im sorry to say knowing others like yourselves are also suffering Im afraid it don’t help one bit.
Feel like driving off in my motor home to the sun and never coming back.
I too have lost others dear to me but the loss of somebody like my Petaldust is beyond description.

Greif is trully a measure of your love…John

Hi Chaz or Charlie

I am sorry you have lost your wife, its is very hard when you have spent so much time together. I lost my Barrie 30 months ago, we were sole mates, no children just the two of us. We were married for 41 years. I also lost my Mum this Christmas day and although its not the same it brings all the heartache flooding back. We have to take each day as it comes and remember that our partners would not have liked to see us sad, Let the tears flow they help but remember life goes on and it will get better give yourself time. Take care of yourself. big hug from Chrissy

Hello Charlie,
I am so sorry to read your post and my heart goes out to you.

I wanted you to know that I can relate totally to how you are feeling. My late husband and I worked together all our married life. To have a successful marriage and working relationship, I believe, takes a very special love and understanding and when that Special person is no longer there, then its heartbreaking, they were you’re whole world.

Its now 7 months since I lost my dear husband William. Thats really difficult to write, I can’t believe its so recent, because it feels like forever………

I have decided not to make any major decisions for a while; to keep busy and to also take time to grieve.

This online community has been a great source of help to me and I think by reaching out, as you have done, is a positive step.

Thinking of you……

Hi Charlie and everyone going through the same grief on here.
I have just joined today as I lost my husband suddenly of a huge heart attack while we were on holiday in Spain 6 weeks ago, he was 58, he wasn’t ill or overweight, he didn’t smoke and only occasionally drank. I too am truly heartbroken, you are not on your own. I don’t know how I get through each day, we were very much in love. All I can say is that just do whatever feels right at the time. I often lie on the bed and cry, get groceries and all the mundane little jobs I have to do and I am hoping and praying that it will get easier in time like everyone says it will.
Sending my love

I’m so sorry for your loss.there is no advice really cos you need to just get through 1 day (or even 1 hour)at a time,in the only way you can. Be it sleeping too much or going places that remind u of her.what ever gets you through the day.looking at old photos or putting them away,so u don’t have to look at them…everybody is different.

I really feel for you all… my heart hurts for you all as I know just how tough this is for you. Just think that the Angel you have spent so long with now has wings…
My Angel is around me , I can feel her…
But it hurts so much…

That is such a lovely thought. You are right “it hurts so much” but, as you say, you can definitely feel the presence of the one you love so much…… Take care and best wishes Elaine x

thanks for the kind words Chrissy and everyone else going thru the heartache and pain take care