I have just recently lost my mother last week and finding it hard to cope , I just don’t know what to do or how to feel , and with my dad I’m just lost for words when I’m around him as him and my mother were together 42 years and I have no idea what to say to him it’s the first time I have lost someone very close to me so this is all new to me so Any advise would be great thanks Nadine

Hi Nadine
You have come to the right place for support and advice. I lost my lovely mum aged 74 to a sudden brain haemorrhage on the 14th June.
I think I’m honestly still in shock. She appeared to ge in great health other than arthritis that really had got bad in recent months.
She lived with us and we involved her in everything we did. My partner and my daughter are lost without her.
At the moment its very early days for you. At this point just take things hour by hour and when you are feeling stronger you can start to tackle things by the day. 7 months down the line I still cant buy more than a day or two of food at the supermarket and I only resumed full time work 6 months after mum died.
There are lots of us on this site who chat most days about how we are feeling. They will all join in I’m sure shortly.
Chatting on this forum to people who are going through the loss of their mums has been a lifeline for me.
Cheryl x

1 Like

my mum died from bowel cancer she only found out she had it in dec but she was in a lot of pain for months before hand but she wouldn’t go and get checked as she hated hospital but in the end the pain got too much for her so I phoned an ambulance for her and she was taken to hospital they done tests and all that it came back she had cancer but it had spreaded to much and they couldn’t do nothing for her me and my dad and my sister were up and down to the hospital everyday from December the last 2 nights we spent with her and stayed with her till she took her last breath , it was the hardest thing iv ever had to do in my life something I will never forget we all just need to be there for each another now and especially for my dad ,

I’m so sorry nadine.
Not much words can say. This really is the hardest thing to go through. It diesng sound like your mum was very old either.
I expect you are still in shock x

She was 58 years old and yea. I think we are all still trying to get our heads round it , still doesn’t feel real

58 is so young. My dad died when he was 53 so I have been there.
Just be there for each other you have alot to gafe in the next few weeks the grieving probably wont even begin until the funeral is over.
Keep coming back to chat.

1 Like

Hi Nadine
I agree 58 is so young. My mum died on 1st January and she was 73. I thought that was far too young and it did not even come in my mind that she may go in hospital and not come out. I thought 73, she has a good ten years before we have to think that way. My mum also hated going into hospital, I remember when the ambulance came out she said that she did not want to go in hospital. I remember saying to her “mam, you need to go into hospital, you cannot breath” she then agreed. With mam having COPD and being a retainer I often think did the ambulance give her too much oxygen, did they do this and did they not do this, nothing changes the outcome but like you I just cannot believe I will not be able to see or speak to her again. It just does not feel real. I miss her more than I could of even imagined and which I showed her I loved her more when she was alive. I have a photo on my desk, keep looking at it and just thinking I want you back. I still have my dad and like you, I am trying to be strong for him. I worry that he is going to feel lost without mum as he was her full time caregiver. I was at home (working through the day) but dad used to do everything for mum.