Hi, im new to this community. I lost my Dad suddenly and unexpectedly on the 30th November, just before christmas. It was a Saturday, I was out christmas shopping ( i dont live with my parents) , my mum was at c he had a massive heart attack and died more or less instantly. My husband went round that afternoon to visit him as he did sometimes, and found him dead on the hallway floor. He had to ring my mum and myself to inform us. The shock has been indescribable, as a family we were numb for weeks, made even worse as the funeral was the week before christmas day, but we got through christmas for the sake of my son. As the weeks have gone on, the shock has lessened but im haunted by the thought of him dying alone and cant get this out of my head. Its really tormenting me. Can anyone relate to this?
Hello @Dais,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Thank you for reaching out - I really hope that you find the community helpful in your grief.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link. Please do think about getting some counselling for yourself - it sounds like your dad’s death has been such a shock to you.
You are not alone,
Seaneen
Thank you, i have signed up to the counselling support service and am now on the waiting list.
Hello @Dais, I am so sorry that you lost your Dad. I lost my Mum on 27th Feb '24 suddenly and unexpectedly and I can totally relate to the immense shock. To have someone you love ripped from you in an instant with no warning and not being able to see or speak to them is a complete head f*ck. My Mum was also alone at her home when it happened, and it is really hard to deal with that. I felt responsible in a way, like if I had been there I could have saved her. I’m sorry Dais, it’s really hard. Sending you so much love.
Hi Hayley, ah thank you for your reply. It is so hard isnt it. Its like theyre literally theyre one minute , then the next gone. It felt like a bad dream for weeks, i kept thinking he would walk through the door and everything would go back to normal , did you feel the same? I feel huge guilt too, i think if i hadn’t gone Christmas shopping, and been there, i might have been able to save him, or at least he wouldn’t have been on his own? Thats the hardest bit to deal with. It torments me like you say. I just block a lot out. Did you have any counselling?
So sorry @Dais I only just saw your reply. I know what you mean, I often feel in that bad dream stage, it still feels unbelievable. The guilt is really hard and some times it’s stronger than others. I had one counselling call but it wasn’t helpful for me. I think about going to see a therapist but to be honest it’s all felt too hard to talk about so far so I haven’t pursued it yet, but I might do at some point as it’s a lot to deal with. I saw you’re on the waiting list for counselling, I hope it’s not too long for you. Are you being supported in the meantime? Hope you’re having an ok day x