Help

Losing a partner
1

Please can I talk to someone.? My grief and pain are unbearable today :disappointed_face:

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Hi Karen.

So sorry to hear how youre feeling.

Just write down your story and let us know all about you. Just spill it all out,this is a safe place and every one on here has some idea of how your hurting.

I lost my husband 6 months ago ,without any warning,in his sleep. A healthy strong man in his sleep,gone. It feels unbearable but Im still standing. You will too. but you need to let it out.

Please talk.

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Hi @Piclke
I am so sorry for your loss , I lost my husband 9 months ago . Suddenly with out warning heart attack. I never thought I’d get this far. Post on here we all understand this site is full of caring surportive people.
:people_hugging::hugs:

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Hi. Yes I lost my husband only 12 days ago so obviously in the very early stages of grief. He passed away in hospital from complications due to a Lukemia diagnosis on Christmas eve would you believe. Friend’s and family are trying to support me as best they can but I don’t think they realise how tragic it is to lose a partner :cry:

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The first few months of losing a spouse is horrible, you will be in shock. Eat drink and sleep when you can . Take it day by day don’t think about the future. I attended a bereavement cafe at a church you don’t have to be religious to go there . It not always sad , there is a trained counsellor there if you want to talk to them in private. Nobody can ever prepare yourself for losing a spouse. And nobody understands what it is like unless you are walking this path yourself. Look after yourself and post when you are up to it . :people_hugging::hugs:

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Dear Karen my wife died of cancer on Christmas day. The pain over the first couple of months is unbearable you need to take whatever help you can. I hope you have family supporting even if they don’t understand they can look after you while you are grieving.

Wishing you all the strength you need

Tom

:hugs: :hugs:

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Thanks Tom and everyone else x

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We all want to help Karen, We all know how difficult it is at the beginning when everything seems too much to handle and the pain is terrible.

If you need help don’t hesitate to ask and if things get too much there are places to call which is quite normal. They are there for that reason

I hope you are feeling a little more peaceful

Wishing you all the best

Tom

:hugs: :hugs:

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Dear PicIke, so sorry to hear you are suffering so much. Losing your soulmate is the most painful thing I have experience. All I remember of the first couple of weeks is that I was in agony, could hardly eat or sleep and couldn’t stop screaming or crying. I hope you are managing to at least get sleep and to eat, drink lots of water because crying dehydrates you and take it one day at a time. :people_hugging:

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Trouble is I can’t cry properly…I’m just totally numb :broken_heart:

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I can’t eat sleep watch tv or read !

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oh am so sorry! :mending_heart: Yes, the first week I mostly screamed, not cried.
if you can go see your GP and ask for something to help you sleep. What I’ve been taking is nytol since my husband died suddenly on 28 Feb. Also because I had appalling anxiety in the mornings I went to see the GP and they gave me propanolol which helps a little bit. I know it is horrible what you are going through and am really sorry for you, just know that slowly as time goes by it gets a little bit more bearable. It still hurts a lot, but is not as devastating as the first 2 months were.

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Hi @Piclke
The numbness you describe is normal in the early stages of grief. We have something called cortisol , it there to protect our us . If you could try going out for a small walk when it is cool it might help . Make sure you are drinking, eat something anything fruit , toast . We are here for you . :people_hugging::hugs:

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Yes I’m taking Nytol…helps to get me off to sleep but then I wake up several times a night when the grief hits me

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Hi Karen, you could cut the dose you take before going to sleep and take another one when you wake up at 3 am. The full dose is 50mg per night. Tom’s @Brandon1 recipee of long walks and exercise is also great because it reduces some of the stress things our bodies produce which make suffering so more painful.

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Ok thank you. X

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17

It’s great that you have them, lean on them! I didn’t have anybody, I stayed in a foreign country all alone with his adopted family that goes after my house and only home. It happened last year and it still is unbearable most of the time… We are all here for each other, this place is a blessing…
Janka

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