I’m really struggling, it’s been 10 weeks since I suddenly lost my husband, I’ve had a rough time, what with his traumatic loss, and then on top a family member causing trouble at the funeral, I suffer with anxiety, and I am not dealing with losing him very well at all. We had been together since I was 16 (he was 41) we had been together 36 years and married for 24. I’ve known nothing but my husband my whole adult life. And I just don’t know how to deal (or move on as I’ve been told by some) with this intense pain and emptiness. Please help.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are feeling very strange for you after 36 years of being together and at the moment you are feeling a huge amount of pain and a feeling of emptiness.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources with you that may help you right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .
Take care - keep reaching out,
I was with my husband for 45 years nearly all my adult life, and it is hard, it is 7 months since I lost my husband in the summer when it is warm and sunny it is easier to get out and mix, but now that we are coming up to Christmas and the clocks have gone back I have become a hermit, it is so so hard, but you will get there, unfortunately we have no choice but to carry on the best we can it us what our loved ones would want for us if they could let us know
So sorry to read your heartfelt plea.
First of all it’s so insensitive of someone to suggest ‘moving on’ when your grief is so raw.
Allow yourself time and space, YOU are all that matters so concentrate on whatever it takes to get you through each day. For me it was late night/ early morning walk, endless TV, naps during the day. It helps to not think long term but just getting through the day or even just the next couple of hours. And remember, there is always someone on this site who truly ‘gets’ what you are going through.
Totally agree with all you have said, don’t know when I’ll start to feel better, but, life goes on and we have to live our lives as best as we can. Take care