Help

My Grandad passes away around 7 weeks ago and up until October last year he was fit and healthy and did everything for my Grandma who suffers from COPD. I started caring for them both in October and still am caring for my Grandma with my Mum and my Aunty. Between us we are sleeping every night because she is scared to stay on her own, over the last 3 weeks we are now staying 24/7 because when she is on her own she starts to panick. Firstly she has 2 sons that hardly go and defnitly do not stay. I’m 29 years old and at the moment i feel like i have no life. For the past week she hasnt got out of bed once. I said i was going to sit in the room she asked if i could stay in the bedroom with her. My aunty has asked her to move in with her has she has a spare room and they will get a lift fitted, she accepted and said she would because she didnt like her home anymore, each time my aunty asks her to go for one night on the night she is staying she just says no. You feel bad because you dont want to be there 24/7 and then i go and see how much weight shes lost and how much shes deteriated and then i feel terrible. What should we do for the best?

Lauram 3489

This is very difficult, it’s still a short time since your grandfather passed away, I’m sure your Grandma is frightened to leave her home and memories.
Could you find a carer to stay overnight with her- even just a couple of nights a week to give you a break ?
There are carers and attendance allowance you may be able to claim to pay for it. If she isn’t getting out of bed you probably need more help - you could ask social services to come and see her. They might have some ideas, good luck J x

I don’t think she wants anyone else other than us, if we approach any ideas she just gets upset. It’s so hard becsuse she was witg my Grandad 58 years and he did everything for her and i mean everything. But at the moment we are all living double lives, i’m suppised to be starting work again Tuesday because i cannot afford to be off much longer. I dont know how that will go because there will be one less person to stay and care for her. Its such a difficult and sensitive situation.

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