I need help i lost my wife October 1st last year 46 yr old im not coping well with this i just want to join her
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Mate…you are amongst friends on this forum…we have all been where you are…most still are…speak your heart out on here coz no one else will understand…so sorry you had to join this club 
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Hi @Jasonandarleme, im so so sorry for the tragic loss of your wife. I lost my dad recently and still cannot believe he is gone. I went to a very dark place after all the trauma of his death, the funeral, getting his ashes. Theres no right or wrong way to grieve but please believe me when I say you wont be in that dark place forever. I was so scared of where my mind went when I was longing to see my dad again, i had no choice but to drag myself out of that hole or be swallowed forever. You’ve probably heard this before, but your wife would want to see you smile again, want to see you living life. In grief we definitely forget how precious life is because we just don’t feel like it is as we’re in so much pain. Try to wake up every day and push the sick feeling away by looking at a picture of your wife and remembering a good moment. Literally force yourself to get out of bed no matter what your body and brain are telling you. You have to go against everything you feel you need to do right now and push through that barrier holding you back from happiness. I can absolutely promise you from experience that one day you will think of your wife and feel so blessed to have had the years you did with her and you will smile and even laugh at a funny memory. I promise you you will enjoy life again, even though you will always miss her here on Earth. Look for signs from her, go to new places, try new things. Get lost in the woods, travel a really far distance just to pick up a coffee and drive back. Go out at 1 in the morning for a walk in the rain. Distract yourself, and hold onto the fact that she would want you to smile again. Take care of yourself.
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I feel for you my friend you are definitely not alone . Grief is a hard task master and will not let us off lightly . Im 2 years in just when you think you are getting somewhere and then ( bang ) the worst weekend i have had for a long time just hit me out of the blue . My wife is at peace . But here i am stuck in this loop of Grief . And i know my daring girl would want me to brace up and get on with it . But it is difficult boy is it difficult !! . So chin up my freind . I wish you all the best !!
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I couldn’t add a word to what you have written !! . Its the way i look at . Bless you all x
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Greif is like a ravenous beast . We have to deny it the food it craves to survive by thinking this is not what our loved one would have wanted for us . Just to feed the beast !!
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I’m so sorry for your tragic loss and we are all here for eachother.
I have just joined this site, after the loss of my Dad and I get it, when you say you want to join your wife, because I feel like that about my Dad.
He was both parents to me and I am beyond crushed.
I cry daily and on the edge of panic attacks all the time.
I have next to no one, as some friends I had, have distanced themselves from me now and family members, who don’t mean well to me, I have cut ties with, for my own sake.
My Dad was my entire world and without him, my heart is utterly crushed. I just can’t get my head around any of this.
I believe we will see our loved ones again and that they will watch over us, while we are living out our human experience.
You’re not alone.
Grief is the love we have, for the closest ones we’ve lost.
I have lost my smile, to a face of sadness and tears, that have now took residency within me.
Thoughts are with you in these dark black times.
X
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