My partner died suddenly in october. We had 2 children together 1 age 10 he was all is dad talk for hours about boys stuff and a 17 year old girl who tormented her dad with her dancing and posing. Theyve been so brave and strong. My little boys being very angry, upset and sad alot of the time. My daughter sits in her room watching video of her dad and looking at pics crying. My heart breaks for them i dont know what to say, what to do to make them feel better. I feel hopeless and im struggling to help them with there emotions. Please give me advice x
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Hello @Kcg,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner. Thank you for reaching out to the community - I hope you find it to be a support to you.
You have asked how you can support your children through grief, so I wanted to share a few resources with you.
- Sue Ryder has a guide on supporting a bereaved child which you may find helpful to read
- Child Bereavement UK supports bereaved children, young people and families through grief. They have in-person and online support groups. They also have a free helpline on 0800 02 888 40, or you can email helpline@childbereavementuk.org.
- Winston’s Wish provides grief and bereavement support for children and young people (up to 25) after the death of someone important. They have a helpline that you can call free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays. They also have a live chat feature on their website.
Books can be a good way to help children understand death and grieving. If you search online you can find lots of suggestions. Here is a list from Scholastic you might want to look at.
Take good care and keep reaching out,
Seaneen
I would definitely second contacting Winston’s Wish and looking if there is a local support service too.
What about school? They can often provide support in these situations?
Depending on your age if you’re under 51 you could join WAY, many members have children and from what I’m aware there are meet ups involving children. It could help for them to meet others going through what they are. If you’re over 51 there’s WAY Up, but many of us have children who are early 20’s plus.
It’s important your children understand what they are feeling is very normal, grief is all encompassing, scary and a long process and that they see you grieving and learning from you.
My sons are early 20’s and a couple of months in one is having counselling, one doesn’t feel he needs anything. We are all different and deal with it in different ways. None of their friends have gone through this so it’s difficult for them to get support from friends but they are being there for them.
Ive ask for help at school and to be honest theyve not help in the slightest so i think i might contact Winston. Ive mentioned it to health professionals about 3 week ago and they’ve not really help either. Do the children have to harm them selfs before they get help cause thats how im feeling.
I’m so sorry these services haven’t supported you. Definitely have a look if there’s something local to you too.