Helping Mum

Looking to the future
1

How do you support your bereaved Mum to start sleeping alone and spending time alone?

My siblings and I have a rota, she’s not slept alone in the 9 months since we lost our Dad. We spend chunks of the day with her, either doing things with her or working ‘from home’ there.

She knows she must sleep by herself and that we need to change the routine that up to know has been ‘coping’ but is affecting us and our families (partners, children) as we’re stretched (emotionally as well as practically).

We will still spend time with her and actually, set better routines that break the day up more and give us time with our families and her a more set routine that works for everyone. It sounds harsh but she has to get used to being on her own some of the time. Only then will she start to fill that time herself which I hope will make her feel stronger and more confident that she can do it and doesnt have to rely on us 100%.

I suppose I’m after some stories and advice, as the guilt is always there even when you know things have to change.

Thank you.

2

Hello @Circle2,

Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry for you and your Mum’s loss.

When it comes to something as tough as grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone you love. Our Grief Kind campaign has lots of resources that can help. You can:

  • Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
  • Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
  • Read our guide on supporting someone else who has been bereaved.

I hope that you find these resources helpful. Please take good care of yourself, too - the community is here for you.

Alex

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