Yet another day I have woke up early
Sobbing my heart out because I know it’s another day without my Stephen
I will be burying him tomorrow which I’m really not looking forward to
Deep down I know that will be last I see his side if his family.
I am thinking how long I would have left if I stop taking my medication.
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Dear jxs i am exactly the same my husbands funeral is the 10th of july and although his ceremony is a direct cremation i will still be kept very much in the moment throughout and we will celebrate his life at a later date when i feel more able this was his wishes, but as for the lonliness and missing him so much i sometimes think what’s the point of it all now without him i just go through the motions and routines but i miss his input in everything we did together and i just burst into tears at a drop of a hat i know nothing can bring him back but after 50yrs of being together practically everyday of my life i wonder how i will continue this sad hopeless journey and so called life without him i just feel very empty at the moment maybe things will change someday but i know the longing and missing him won’t ever leave me that’s a fact please know that we hear you and totally get how you feel as i am sure your wonderful husband will be with you in spirit and give you all the strenghth and love you need to get through tomorrow please take care sending a big hug 
xx
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@JXS
Sending lot’s of love and strength for tomorrow.
You will get through the day and will make Stephen proud.
xxx
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@Joy72
Dear Joy72
My heart goes out to you. Everything you are saying, believe me, I have felt and I am sure most of the other people on the forum have as well.
I remember the many times I prayed to God asking him to make it all a bad dream and to let me wake up and my life be back to normal.
I was married for forty three years and we were together for forty five years.
At the end of this month it will be nine months since my whole life changed for ever. I still cry at the drop of a hat too. Every day I miss him, long for him to walk through the door with his happy smiling face but I now know that he won’t.
I was thinking about everything last week and I am now going to try and live my life as he would want me to. He fought so hard for his life and it has made me realise how precious life is and to live for us both.
It will be very hard as I spend most of my days feeling safe indoors. We had planned to move last year and I now feel ready to start looking for our dream bungalow. Another major step forward but oh, how I wish it was both of us.
Our husbands will always be in our hearts and be with us.
It is still very early days for you, don’t think about the future, it’s overwhelming, just a day at a time.
My thoughts will be with you on 10th. What a lovely wish your husband had, wanting a celebration of his life when you feel you are able to. How lovely and thoughtful of him, that shows his love for you.
Sending hugs and love to you xxxx
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Thankyou so much for your lovely careing words today has not been a good one for me but as you say it is still early days for me and i know you are so understanding and are also going through the same awful journey thankyou again it is good to know that there may oneday be a light at the end of this dark tunnel we have all had to go through i wish you peace for tomorrow and prayers🙏xx
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I am so sorry Alir i was confused and i think sent it to another by mistake please forgive me and again thankyou for your lovely reply it has lifted me out of a dark sad day bless you xx
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