I lost my husband almost 3 weeks ago and I miss him so badly. I hurt so much I just don’t know what to do anymore.
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I wish I could take your pain away. I lost my wife 3 weeks ago. This forum has been a help. There are so many people further along the road to us who can offer more support that I can, but please know you are not alone. This is the worst thing any of us can experience, but I try to take comfort that other people here, are still here! They didn’t completely break and are slowly coping. It means we can too with time.
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Thank you for your kindness
I’m having a bad day today and just needed to reach out.
I have photos spread everywhere so that I can see him.
I keep playing over and over in my mind the day we first spoke to each other. I told him he was taking me home and from that day on 44 years ago he has always taken me home. Then the terrible scene creeps in where I watched him die, which I find hard to erase.
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@JXS I’m so sorry for your loss and that you have joined the club none of us want to be in.
I lost my partner 21 weeks ago unexpectedly from a heart attack…
In the beginning I found the grief was all consuming. I was numb and in shock. Over time the numbness does ease and the grief is not as intense as in the early days.
Don’t think to far ahead. Thinking about the future I find to painful. Focus on getting through one day at a time, or hour by hour if you need to.
I have found this forum a lifesaver I hope it helps you too.
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@JXS
Your post takes me back to those days of utter despair and not knowing how to get through the day. I’m also 21 weeks along this journey. My days are different now, I am back at work on a phased return, I don’t cry everyday anymore, I do have glimmers of hope for a happy future. I can go out and have booked my first trip in our camper. The last couple of days have been incredibly hard but still not like the beginning.
I miss my man every day. I miss the life we had and I miss the future we should have had.
But 21 weeks in I’m doing ok.
We do get through the days, hour by hour is still my mantra. We don’t have a choice but to get through it. Unfortunately, life doesn’t stop for us.
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I thank you all for your kindness
You all make me realise I’m not on my own.
I can see that I need to take small steps, day by day.
I still keep asking why and saying it’s not fair.
He isn’t in pain now for which I am grateful, myself and my family now carry that pain.
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My heart goes out to you i lost my husband 4 weeks ago suddenly we also have been married 49yrs the pain and grief we feel is unbearable and all i want to do is count the days till i can be with him though half of me has gone already people are well meaning when they try to express sympathy but all i want is my husband and the life we had then the realisation of what might be ahead loneliness and longing fills me fear and utter disbelief he’s gone ,please know that you are not alone in your grief and we are all here for you god bless 
xx
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I can see that we both feel and think the same.
Lots of times I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore without him. I asked him to promise that he would come for me when it is my turn
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I hope for the same ,i would give anything for an eternity with my hubby rather than a lonely existence on this earth without him take care xx
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First of all, I want to apologise.
I feel so selfish I was so full of my own grief I never thought about how all of you were feeling.
I have some family who help me plus a few friends, I am happy for you to be included in that group, thank you 
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I so wish I could help you
Stephen’s funeral is on Monday, I’m really not looking forward to it. I can’t stop crying. I have just had to force myself to eat something.
I’ve still got a list of things to do but I seem to find any excuse not to do them.
I have the radio playing to take away the silence in the house, but a lot of the songs remind me of him which feel good but also sad.
We did everything together, when we had problems we sat down together and talked about them until we sorted them out. He looked after me from the very first day he met me right to his last day.
The doctors have just phoned me, I’ve got some blood test results they are not happy with them and they want me to go to hospital
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Hi,
I’m back
I spent all day at Leicester A&E, I have been prodded, poked and stabbed I ache and I’m sore.
My potassium was extremely low so I ended up having a couple of ECG’s and loads of blood tests, they were checking to see if I had had a heart attack.
I’m still here so I don’t think I have.
It’s back to sorting out the rest of the funeral and Stephen’s paperwork, now I am a day behind schedule.
I feel tired but can’t seem to sleep past 5.00 in the morning.
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Hi Sheila,
We sound very much alike.
I seem to have a connection with you which I find comforting.
My name is Julie
@Lonely
Dear @Lonely I always read your posts and they inspire me . I love hearing about your lovely Peter and your life together.
I have just been reading your exchanges with @JXS , who , bless her, seems to be going through so much at the moment. You are so kind and I was very touched by your last post to her, it made me think of how lucky we are on this forum to have such kindness and such caring people to reach out to.
Bless you xxx
P.S How is your “friend”, the one who was trying to get you to go to O2 with her?
Those posts did make me laugh xxx
I am not having a good day today
I can’t stop thinking about watching my husband die
I play the scene over and over in my head, don’t know what to do
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@JXS
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I remember having the same thoughts after I lost my husband. It is eight months since I lost him and I still sometimes relive the last minutes of his life. As time has gone by it feels less intense but still very painful.
I am sorry that I am not much comfort to you but all I can say is to let your grief out, do what you feel you need to do and try not to think too far ahead. At the moment it is just best to think in the moment.
I do hope you find peace and comfort.
Sending love and hugs xxx
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Dear jxs so sorry your having a bad time i know the trauma of losing your loved one in circumstances that you couldn’t control is heartbreaking and then having to relive it over and over plays on your mind and the peace you need aludes you i wish i could offer you comfort in the knowledge that your husband knew you were there and you love him with all your heart please keep using this forum the people here are caring and understanding sending you big hugs 
xx
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I am so sorry you have had a bad day, too. My husband also died in my arms, and today, more than ever, I cannot get the memory out of my mind. I was so glad to be with him and give him my love, but it’s not easy for us to remember it at times.
Love and hugs xx
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@Lonely
Thank you so much for the update, I went to bed smiling last night.
I have sent you a PM.
With love xxx
Hope everyone is coping with their grief, i wrote this for myself to try and ease my own, When the souls of loved one’s leave,Do they cry for us and grieve,Do they long to see our face, and hold us in a warm embrace, Dry the silent tears we cry,and sit with us to tell us why they had to leave so suddenly,but know their spirit now is free,they are one with earth and sky, and heavens in the realms on high, they do not weep they do not cry they do not grieve for god is nigh! God bless to all xx
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