I don’t know if this pain in my heart will go away xx
I just know this road we are on is horrible. Just a straight road few bumps.sticky ,no turning back just forward .we will reach the end eventually. Sad road xx
Yes, as long as it is to Mark so I can be reunited with him xx
Yes i agree to the phone calls and texet now and then. …how are you i am so so,nite i go bad xxxx
The road is as long as you want it to be.i want a average. When i get to the end. Maria will be there xxxx
Yes me too, up and down, im off to sleep soon xx
Goodmorning mate. Sleep well busy day tomorrow again xxxx
Yes im off to see my brother, goodnight, love and hugs xx
Goodnight i am off to bed xxxx
Hello Poppet
I hope you enjoy your time with your brother tomorrow
Sending lots of love xxx
Goodnight
Sleep well xx
Hello All,
I haven’t been on here for days as not been feeling very well.
I have cried every night and i feel as I have taken too many steps backwards in how I feel.
Monday I am going back to work but I am begin to think I have made a mistake thinking that I am now ready. Everyone keeps telling me that I have to go back at some point, that what is actually stopping me but they don’t have a clue that I sit in the room and stare at the wall and cry so often. I registered for counselling but I am on the waiting list and don’t know what to do. I know deep down in my heart Peter wouldn’t wanted me to be like this but it’s so hard without him 
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Oh Lou, It is so hard, it took me more than 2 months to be able do get through a day after loosing my wife of 52 years. Just look at me gone one o clock and I have got up again because I cannot sleep. Perhaps work might be a distraction and if you have interaction with other people it might help. Hopefully it wont be so lonely.
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Good Morning All
Hope we are going to be able to have a decent day between us. Mornings are particularly tough for me as John always brought me my milky coffee in bed then decisions were made as to what we were going to do and where we were going to go as in Johns words ‘because we can’.
I know he’s still around me though not quite as I’d like…The last six weeks been the shittiest ever in my life…
@Lou27. I’m so sorry you can’t stop crying and maybe you are also very anxious about work. Just think to yourself that after the initial meeting with your colleagues again and the upset that will come with that, it could be the start of you getting back to some sort of normal, not the same as before but just a routine.
If not then you can always speak to your doctor and take sick leave but it could very well be a good thing for you going back n the only way to see that is to try.
Yes you’ll cry, but not on your own, but with people or a person that will listen n maybe you will talk about your love and laugh. Better than sitting looking and crying at the wall like you say you do…
I’m not going to paid work, I’m too bloody old, but I’m starting a volunteering role in a retail charity shop and when I went for my ‘taster’ tears welled up and I just told them why and it passed…because I had something to do. Fingers crossed it’ll work for you❤️
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Hi x
I am sorry for your loss xx
I feel so lost.
I am staying awake till early hours and then I am up at 6am.
I am trying to stay positive and do things but soon as I do , I feel crap.
Peter was a big football fan so last night I finally bought a ticket to go and see his favourite team. I know it will be hard but I want to carry on with his passion.
Going back to work as you said might help but I am just worried some people not going to understand what I am going through x
Hi x
I hope so.
I am trying to be positive, I am doing different things that I know Peter would love but I get teary as soon as realise he’s not there.
I love to do a bit of volunteering myself, I was thinking popping in to local pilgrims hospice to ask .
I know I have to go back to work at some point as can’t afford to stay at home. It will be my 40th birthday in September.
We had so much planned x
@Lou27
You are so young to have lost your love but you will rise up and join the human race again in your own time. Baby steps…
Do some volunteering if that’s what you would like to do n maybe ease yourself back into work. I am actually starting at a local Sue Ryder charity shop.
Obviously you have other worries as opposed to this old woman but you will find a way.
Look at what you’re doing already…you’re going to keep up with his love of football and even bought a ticket…that is brilliant, so you are making headway.
Keep coming on here as people do help…
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Goodmorning all .lets hope we all had a good sleep .wnd and today is going to be a good day for.all .i have a busy day
Xxx
He was my first love.
We met when I was turning 20.
I remember meeting Peter like it was only yesterday.
His kindness and smile x
And age is only a number x
Peter was much older than me.
I hope you like volunteering in your local charity shop.
And thank you for your kind words 