Hi everyone I thought I would just start a new post to use if anyone needs to chat and reach out at anytime. I think sometimes when you’re having one of the bad days just chatting to someone on here who understands is very useful. Also if you’re having a better day it would be good to share some positivity about what you’re doing and what’s helping you, or just a chat in general.
We can help each other get through this the best we can x
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A general chat room’ is a good idea AlliH. I realise some chats are theme related on this forum. To reach out and chat, bad days or other’ across the divide’ or the life loss circumstance that binds us’ x
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That’s such a nice sentiment! My day started off with crying but forced myself to go to Aqua Aroebics class which I enjoyed then went to WI with my widowed friend. So the day turned out ok in the end. Though I know sometimes I get up ok and it then all goes downhill. To be honest whatever I do I’m still constantly thinking of my husband and it’s 17 months since he died. Love to everyone in this position xxx
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Hi Nala, I give that a times two’ achievement, aqua class and WI attendance with a friend. I am sorry for your loss of your husband, I am 15 weeks in. Hate the word hate’ but that moment in the morning when you wake, I say to the cat, okay, let’s do this day…’ my beloved husband used to say, let’s leap up’ when he felt well and even said the same when he tried to when he wasn’t.
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@Nala Aqua aerobics and WI is definitely a big achievement. Do you find you get exhausted really quickly, I definitely do and then when I’m tired I get even more emotional. Had a busy morning and then as I was driving back from the supermarket I burst into tears, grief is so random. @Pooka1968 I try to get up and do the same every morning, start the day positive, at least I start the day that way and hope it lasts a while 
Yes I get tired very quickly and find it so hard to get up in the morning, I just want to lie there and think of my husband. My 3 cats want their breakfast so I get up. Someday I’m just going to stay in bed and cry all day which is what I want to do. Lots of love to everyone xxx
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Hi Nala. I can relate to you as I feel some days just hide away ,I have my dog who likes his walks and he makes me get up in the morning. The days are so lonely. Such an empty feeling just can’t get my head round the fact jim is gone .
I get such a drownings feeling
I do get bereavement counselling I just feel so exhausted after the session on my 4th one and another 4 to go . Just hope every one on here is getting through their days beast they can so many people out there going through grief.
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I was okish yesterday, but today I woke up aching and exhausted. It is only 2 months in for me , 11th January and I think thats what hit me, especially as I get the bereavement support payment on this date. Didn’t even know about that until my sister told me. April 11th is our wedding anniversary so dreading that one! My husband collapsed in the street in front of me, died of an embolism there and then. He was never ill. It is the sheer exhaustion that I find difficult.
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Can I ask those who are having/have had counselling, who is it with and how do you feel it helps. I’m interested because I think I might try it, thank you
Hi. I thought I’d take a look at the site as I’m just having a very heavy moment and feeling lost and so very very heavy hearted.
I loved my guy so so much and I don’t know if I’ll ever get through this…
Never know such intense love or such intense agony…
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My partner died five days ago in front of me with a DVT but thankfully not in pain and I should have realised when he complained of cramp in his right calf. So many key signs but I didn’t pick up on. Devastated beyond words
@Mitzi1 I’m so sorry for your loss, what an awful shock. It’s such early days for you and you are probably feeling every emotion right now. I’m 10 weeks into this terrible journey after losing my amazing husband. I would say right now just get through one day at a time, try not to look too far ahead. Everyone on here knows exactly how you are feeling so reach out whenever you need to. Most importantly at this time rest and sleep if you can, eat well (even though you will probably not feel like it) and be gentle on yourself, remember you are not alone x
Everything feels so bloody pointless. Forgive my french. Can’t keep phoning rellies at stupid hours when I have had a drink. Safer to post on here
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Am so sorry Mitzi1. I keep asking myself if I missed any signs. It was so sudden and so unexpected, but realistically there was no way of knowing. I would have done anything. It is early days for me and very early for you. You won’t be able to comprehend it, I still can’t. Am functioning a bit better now, just seeing a very few people I am close to. Am thinking of you xxxx
@AlliH Thank you.Life is incredibly tough but death of someone you cherish is pure agony.
Don’t want to carry on but have to. Kindness to ourselves is what’s needed. Funeral is the next process and I’m dreading it but will try my very best to look good and walk tall for my darling John. It’s what he would want.
I wish you love n peace
@Cloudysky It’s very tough but we will get through this. We will never know why it happened so suddenly but I am just thankful he was pain free but it was too too soon. We had so much to do and I don’t think I will ever want to fulfil our plans. That’s the key, they were our plans so now I have to think of my own plan…
Trying to be positive which is my natural self is exhausting but if I want to lie in bed I do and I get up when I feel like it. My stomach is constantly churning cause I can’t eat but I drink plenty water to replenish what I lose in the tears I cry.
The funeral next week is daunting but I’m hoping I can hold my head up as John would like me to, so I’ll be very kind to myself up to that day and again the day after then I’ll let loose and rage at the void he’s left…
Love and kind wishes
Hi Allison. My husband died last August 2024 diagnosed with terminal cancer June 2024 never knew he had cancer such a terrible shock I visited the hospital all the time for the 8 weeks is all he had left.
I can’t get everything out of my head , I get bereavement counselling on my 4th session and about another 4 to go, I always feel so exhausted after each session and I always feel I want to stop the counselling as I don’t know what to say I always feel am all talked out
Maybe the counselling will help everyone is different.i just struggled along on my own no very little support from people , my doctor was so good and listened to me a lot and was shocked at the lack of support.
I have health issues and that along with Jim’s diagnosis just broke me and I am finding it very difficult. I get up each morning with the horrible sinking feeling how to do I get through today what will I do with myself , I have my dog and that is my reason to get up in the morning.
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First year anniversary of my husband dying today. Self employed so still had to go to work. Made it through 6 hours of meetings and then couldn’t hang on any longer and started crying in front of my work colleagues, mortifying! Havent stopped crying since. Exhausted. Day 1 of year 2. Can’t do this for much longer.
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@Mitzi1 my husband was also called John. My mum said to me the other day that she couldn’t believe how I held it together at the funeral. I followed him with our 2 sons and their wives. I was determined to make him proud. I hope I did. I can’t remember that much about it really. I wish you well with your John’s funeral also xxx
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