Hello all, I’m new here and could really do with some help and support. I feeling very heartbroken cos my dad has been in hospital for 4 weeks and has cancer, yesterday the hospital called to say that he only has days to live. since yesterday I have found it extremely hard to cope. I can not bear the thought of losing my dad. I have woken up a 3am today (12/12/2018) crying my heart out. I just don’t know how I can move on from this cos it just so so extremely hard for me . if anyone can help me or know where I can get some support that will be grate
So very sorry Alice.
If you can be with your Dad at the moment his life ends, then I think you will always be glad.
However, many of us have been in the position of just missing that moment, perhaps having left the bedside to get some sleep. Should that happen, don’t burden yourself with guilt.
2 Likes
It’s very difficult to help someone have a good death. My wife died in August and it had been obvious that she was nearing the end of her life for several days. Although I’d had a long time to prepare myself I wasn’t really prepared. I held her hand and stroked it as she died, I talked to her, her favourite music was playing. My son had given her permission to leave us and she did just that. It was peaceful and she was pain-free. I hope that us being there was some comfort to her. It is distressing to be with someone you love as they die but it may be worse if you are not there. I wasn’t there for my mother or my father but others were and I’m glad of that.
Hi Alice
Just wanted to say that I and our children were with Tim when he passed. It wasn’t easy for any of us, heartbreaking in fact but we couldn’t have done anything else. It is comforting to know that he wasn’t on his own and with the people he loved until the end.
I didn’t think I could cope but somehow found the strength and I believe you will do the same for your dad.
Sending huge xx
Hi Alice,
Well it’s like reading exactly what I wrote on Dec 8th 2017. Lost my mum a year today and hopefully I can give you some strength in that I’ve made it and I’m ok. I came in here Dec 8th last year knowing my mum was going to pass very soon. There’s nothing anyone can say right now as this time is absolute hell. I spent as much time as possible with my mum and managed to spend the entire 24hrs before she passed with her. Be strong now as believe me you will look back and day I did all I could and that will help even though it’ll be the most painful thing ever right now to witness. The anticipatory grief is terrible as is the waiting mode that you go into. I’m sure everything is a blur and you can’t see past what’s about to happen but look at me as I’ve made it through a year today and I felt exactly like you a year ago that there was no way I’d cope with what I was about to face. But I have and you will do. Stay strong and spend as much time as you can with him, you’ll be so pleased you did. X
Hi Alice. So sorry for the loss of your Dad yesterday afternoon. There’s very few words that could bring you even a small amount of comfort today; here you’ll find support, understanding and advice. With my respects, x