Hey, im new here. I always thought grieve would always be there laying dormant and that some days

Losing a parent
1

Hey, im new here.

I always thought grieve would always be there laying dormant and that some days would be harder than others. This said the pain is the same as the day I received that call, my mum had fallen to the floor and the 8 paramedics were trying to get mums heart beating again. They were sussessful after trying for 40 minutes but she never regained consciousness, pronounced dead in resus 5.45pm. That 30 minutes watching the monitor was the longest 30 minutes of my life.

I knew mum had already left this earth after her collapse around 1.25pm. She died the time she fell to the bathroom floor, before the paramedics arrived. She got her wish, to die quickly and at home. However as the paramedics had got a heart beat, technically mum was alive, she wasn’t it was the respirator keeping her alive.

I hate myself as I never got a final hug or kiss 5 days earlier. I beat myself up every single day.

With dad it was easier. I watched him take his last breathe, I couldn’t wait until he died. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR SAYING THAT. YHERE ARE REASONS WHY. I AM SORRY IF IVE OFFENDED ANYONE. THE REASONS BETWEEN ME AND THE SKY. I SINCERELY APOLOGISE IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE IN ANY WAY.

3 Likes
2

Hello @SadPiglet1,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and for sharing so openly about how you’re feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

3

Hi SadPiglet1

So sorry to hear what you’re going through. Just wanted to say there’s no judgement here, you feel what you and your reasons are yours.

Grief seems to alternate between horrible and really horrible😥

You’re not alone, sending you lots of love and big hugs xxx

4

Thank you Beans, I genuinely appreciate your love, care and support.

Its the blooming Chrismas songs the radio stations playing Christmas that do not help. Yes I get a lot of people enjoy this time of year, however they’re not thinking of those who are grieving for loved ones.

Its thought provoking. I wouldnt mind if they played a Christmas song, say every 15 minutes but its like every 3rd song. They dont care. Its hard when I loved Christmas when my mum was alive. Its a VERY LONELY PLACE WHEN YOU HAVE NOBODY TO SHARE IT WITH. There places to go for the more mature people of this world or the homeless, but nothing for the people in their 20’s - 60’s.