Hi
I’m 25 Iv lost my mum nana and sister in the past 6 years to very different things and I’m really not sure how to deal with it, weird thing but it really only seems to bother me when iv had a drink when I’m sober I just feel numb and I’m really sick of all the build up if that makes sense but then I don’t know weather that’s cause everyone keeps telling me how strong I am or that I’m helping them like I really want to have my breakdown but I just can’t 
Hello, so many special people you have lost, it’s no wonder that you want to stop the world when you have had drink. Alcohol can loosen your emotions and it does make people cry, ok you could leave the alcohol out but that’s not solving the really problem is it?
My own personal feeling is it time to get help in the form of counselling? Sue Ryder or Cruse both have a free service, local councils sometimes do or you GP but yes it would help you work through your feelings. You must think of your life ahead of you and make room for new experiences, those wonderful people you have lost wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. Try thinking of yourself because you are a very special person.
Take care S xxx
Hi @Winosaur
It’s not weird that you feel it more acutely when you’ve had a drink. There’s an old saying someone told me ‘A drunk mouth speaks a sober mind’ and it applies here too. When you’re bottling things up, alcohol can make it easier to feel/speak about how we really feel.
You are understandably grieving and it sounds like you’re the one who people are relying on for support or inspiration.
It’s lovely that they see and think of you like that but you need to realise you also need support or inspiration.
Someone (else) taught me about the leaky bucket (bear with me).
Let’s say you’re a bucket of water, you have a trickle of water topping you up but someone comes to you and needs help (water) so you oblige and put a small hole in yourself so you can help top up their glass.
Then this happens again and again and again. Eventually youre going to be so leaky and full of holes that you aren’t able to keep yourself topped up and you’ll eventually run dry.
You sound like the leaky bucket.
Have you spoken to your GP?
They can help in so many ways and not just with medication.
Also, if you’re in employment you should speak to the employee assistance programme.
I found it really helpful speaking to someone I didn’t know and found it easier to be honest with them than maybe I felt I could with friends and family.
Keep posting on here as it’s a very supportive forum and no judgement. It helped me hugely at the beginning of this year.
Wishing you all the best,
Take care.