Him in a nutshell

7 months in and these are my thoughts of my Rob.
He was a mental health nurse for 30 years he worked hard and was good at his job he was very proud to be a nurse .
He was such a kind person he would help anyone I have known him be out on our back yard all hours fixing lads lambrettas just to get it done for them.
He was there for me when my dad passed away he really was my rock . He has been so supportive during our 34 years of marriage I also work in care and when the kids were young he would look after the kids as we worked opposite shifts for the sake of childcare.
When the kids were growing up we would have endless hours discussions about teaching the kids to accept others no matter what their sexuality , religion , beliefs or skin colour they have .
The list is endless he taught me so much and I will be eternally grateful to him for that .
I now try my level best to hand down his teachings to our grandchildren .
Now I have no more lessons to learn from him I just feel lost , alone, and vulnerable

8 Likes

He sounds like an amazing man. How did you meet?

1 Like

Lost 82 we were both working at the same hospital and and he came into the ward I was on as a student nurse for a 12 week placement and it just went from there .

1 Like

Sounds like it was meant to be :heart:

1 Like

Lost82 I did actually see him a year before in the staff social club so I kept my eyes and ears open to find out a bit more info about him . I knew at some point he would come onto our ward as all students did so I had to wait but it was well worth the wait .

1 Like

He sounds like a lovely man. I met my husband at school and have never known adult life without him. I am truly grateful for the many wonderful years we had but don’t know how to get through without him. He adored me and I adored him. I don’t know how to cope without him being here to support and guide me. Hugs to you all

1 Like

That’s the same for me I met Graham when I was 15 and he was 14 at school and he has been there all my adult life. 37 years together. Hard to accept he’s no longer here my rock, best friend my life as he’d been poorly last 17 years. Last 3 he needed 24/7 care which I provided and had to give up my job in a bank I’d had for 32 years . He went into hospital and caught Covid in there and didn’t survive it . Feel robbed of his last few years and a chance to say goodbye. Thought of now starting again is so scary and at the minute it’s an effort to get out of bed x

Yes, people keep telling me I’m young and I can make another life. How, when I just wanted one with him. I miss the closeness of being with someone who knew me inside out. But no one can even come close.

1 Like

That’s how I feel and I’ve had my DAD !! Say that too me your young enough to move on . I went mad. There’s a reason I spent my life with Graham I loved him and he’s the one I wanted to be with. I’m taking one day at a time as if I think of the future it overwhelms me it’s scary, lonely and not what I want💔. Big hugs x

1 Like

Julia 69 my mother in law said to me two weeks after Rob had passed away I think you will meet someone else and find happiness again .
It’s never entered my head because the happiness I want is with Rob he was my world we had been together for 34 years and married 33 he was only 56 when he suddenly passed away from a major heart attack .

2 Likes

I think when you’ve been with someone for that long (we were together for 34 years) you can’t imagine anyone being as in tune with you and you with them ever again anyway. We grew up together so we ‘fitted’ perfectly.

4 Likes

Talking about how people met, I was 32 when I met Ron. We had talked apparently in the pub for a few weeks and he had walked my friend home but only talked about me! She told me and I couldn’t remember who he was as I talked to lots of people. Anyway one night he caught the same bus as me and we got talking. He missed his stop but still didn’t ask me out because there was someone sat near us. The next time I saw him I told him I was going on to our local dance hall and he said he would have liked to come but he had no tie. I ripped a bright pink belt off my dress and tied it around his shirt collar. He wore it , much to the amusement of his mates, and we ended up tied together at last. We were together 16 years before we got married and married for 20 years after that. I always remember on our wedding day that he told me I looked like a princess and I was beautiful. It all seems a dream now. He was never one for words but he always told everyone that he had the most beautiful girl in the world. He put me on a pedestal.

4 Likes

@Kazzer @Jules4
That is exactly how I feel I’m finding it so hard to accept that Graham has gone as he is all I’ve ever known. Exactly we know that other person inside and out and yes just fit together. The prospect of life without that is such a scary thought one I struggle with as he is all I ever wanted. I have been having bereavement counselling and she tells me. It will be difficult when you have grown up with that person and been through all stages of life together.

Big hugs
X

2 Likes

It’s awful. I am a naturally optimistic person, but I have fibromyalgia and also severe spinal arthritis. I’ve just had major surgery and the pain relief isn’t working. I spend most of the day in bed.

I have brain fog anyway, but I do know for sure I wouldn’t be this way is my husband was here. He’s not a medic - I was aeons ago, but he would simply have told the GPs to sort me out, and gotten the prescription himself. I have a male friend coming to help me next week, but the house is in chaos - we bought another house last year before COVID was on the horizon. Since then Jim’s died, and it feels like my life’s turned upside down.

But I have 3 dogs, I have to take care of them, as they are taking care of me. It’s bright and sunny here, but very cold.

Love to all,

Christie xxx

1 Like

Lost alone and vulnerable sums it up so well.
My friends and sisters ( I don’t have children) seem to think I should be ok after 15 months without my husband. I deliberately bring his name into conversations otherwise he would just not be mentioned. It hurts so much but to be fair, you have to experience this devastation before you can understand how awful it is. We will get through :heartpulse:

2 Likes
Back to top