It will be 6 months on friday that I lost my husband roger, his car is still in the drive way where my son moved it to from the road the day he died, has not been started up since then, I did offer it to my daughter but she cant bear to drive it to many memories, thing is I cant bear to sell it it’s doing no harm in drive ,but what do you all think has anyone still kept there loved ones car , I don’t drive xxx linda
Hi Linda, so sorry about your husband Roger. I recently said goodbye to my husband Alan and I still have his sports car which I am unable to drive as it’s manual and I only drive automatics. I’ve decided that I’m not making any decisions about it during the first year as I’d hate to do something I’ll then regret. Of course it does mean keeping up insurance etc and I’ve transferred registered keeper status to myself. I’ve got some close friends who will support me with any decisions about it as it’s too painful for the children. Not really sure if I’ve been of any help at all. I’m still new to this alien life I’m now living, but I’m here if you want to chat. Bestest Julie xx
Hi Linda. We have to make these decisions that can be hard. Our car was officially mine but he drove it most of the time. It took me a bit of time to drive it again but I think this was more that I didn’t trust myself on the road. My husband had a scooter and for months I left it as I don’t ride scooters and got comfort at seeing it parked outside. Then his daughter that had made no contact with me since the funeral even though I had telephoned and wrote to her got someone else to call me and tell me to get the scooter ready for her to collect as she wanted it. My decision was made I sold it that week. He also had an electric bike and a neighbour bought it. I must admit my heart would lurch when I saw it out, he loved that bike. But I am used to it now. I would say that if you sell then let it go a long way off so that you won’t have to see it again.
Thanks juliewin61 yes your reply does help a lot I will just keep it where it is for now it’s not ins and still in my husbands name so might have to sort that out though as hadn’t thought of that , sorry for your loss too it’s so very hard being without our soulmate isn’t it
Take care here if you need a chat
Thanks pattidot I think I’ll leave it for awhile in the drive but good idea to sell it far away would hate to see a stranger driving it, sorry to hear how your husband daughter treated you families can be so hard glad you sold it and did give it to her she didnt deserve it
When Steve was in hospital I told him that every time I came home and saw his car in the drive I thought he was home. He replied ‘ get rid of it’ .When he passed away I decided to drive it instead of my little KA. I felt safer on the motorway. Keeping it has been a comfort to me, in a funny way I feel he is looking out for me.
If The car is a constant reminder to you, and it makes you unhappy, then sell it. If you think that you may learn to drive it, then keep it. No one can say what is right for you.
my partner Jayne was the driver,sadly the car was taken by Jaynes dad who said im not stealing it just taking it to have its mot.ive not seen it since.i know they kept it at one of Jaynes brothers homes in the garage.when the monies was sorted I offered to buy it,sadly those nasty family members of Jaynes wouldn’t let me.we had the car from new was brought in 2009 I even started taking driving lessons in the hope I could drive it.becausae to me that car was Jaynes baby she loved it,was a 2009 Mercedes-Benz CLC Class only worth about 3500 now but id of given top whack because it was Jaynes.i could never of let it go.sadly we wasn’t married and the car was in Jaynes name.but you’ve got do whats best for you.regards ian
My husbands car is on the drive too for the past 2 years, I don’t drive either but my daughter who lives next door uses it now and again, it brings her comfort , everyone is different x
Hi Linda 555
My husbands car is still in the drive & like you I can’t get rid of it.
It was his pride & joy. It is on the drive & is not really doing any harm. It is quite old & is not really worth very much.Like you I don’t drive & our sons & grand children all have cars.
I feel it’s a bit of security as it looks as though I am not alone, silly really . It’s coming up to the anniversary later on this month so maybe I will do something with it . I don’t know yet I am quite low at the moment. I also have his mobility Scooter in the garage & I did try to sell it but there are so many for sale . I am thinking of giving it to a charity but not sure how to go about it
It’s funny the Scooter doesn’t bother me if it goes cos it’s just a reminder of the bad days I bought it for him when he had to stop driving & he could manage to come to the shops with me but only used it about 3 times.
I’m going on a bit now so I’ll go now.
I don’t think it matters if your husbands car stays or goes as people advise me I will know when the time is right.
Take care all
I still have my husband’s TT and my Dad’s Micra as he is now in a care home. It breaks my heart but I am selling the TT as I need the money. I have taken a refresher driving course as I have not driven for 30 years and am keeping the Micra as it’s a perfect wee car for me. I hate driving and will probably have to go to Asda at 3am so I can get the carpark to myself but it is giving me something to focus on and a bit independence
So sorry to hear of your loss.
My left her car to me and I was in the process of learning to drive (4th time lucky in March ) I so so wanted to have passed so that she could see me drive it. Now it’s just sat there a reminder of what I didn’t achieve.
I’ve put a SORN on it and taken all the tax off so it isn’t costing me any money. Then I think it’s there if I want it and it can sit there for a long time if I can’t.
It’s the funny things that get you isn’t it?
Kerrance22 why don’t you have another go at passing your driving test it will give you something to focus on and a goal to aim for. I hate driving that’s why I have not done it for years and my husband was a brilliant driver and took me everywhere so I didn’t need to drive but due to living in a wee coastal village if I need milk or a loaf I have to get a bus into town hence the reason I am forcing myself to do it. The people behind me must think it’s a drunk toddler with broken thumbs driving but you know what …tough Don’t be negative about the car being a reminder of what you didn’t achieve make it a positive of what you are going to achieve in the future
Hi Mrs Colt
Thank you very much for your lovely message. I’ve got another test in March and I hope I can think about the future when I do it and am not too much of a mess! Good luck to you too
I am sure you will do it come March Driving is not for everyone mind you. I had a lesson a week for 3 years! Passed my test 3rd time, my driving instructor said ‘You have been invited to the staff dance as you have been with us so long’ then my first husband knocked my confidence and I stopped driving then Colin (second hubby) took me everywhere as I said but now I need to be mobile and have a bit independence. I have a wee Yorkie who sits in her car seat covering her eyes with her paws so if I can do it so can you even if it takes a few goes at least you have the bottle to go for it again. If we don’t chat again before March please let me know how it goes I will be routing for you
I sold Clive’s car pretty quickly. It was a bright yellow BMW Z3 which he never let me drive. I only drove it once after I lost him and all I could hear was his voice in my head telling me not to so I knew I had to sell it. I’ve still got his motorcycle in the garage. It’s way too big for me to ride - my feet don’t touch the floor on it! - but I can’t bear to part with it. I always park my little Enfield right next to it so our bikes can be together even if we can’t. It’s silly really, his bike is worth a fair bit and would pay for work that needs doing on the house, but I just can’t seem to let it go - his Italian Mistress!
It’s not silly if it helps you seeing the bikes side by side then that’s a good thing
Work hard towards that test and make sure we all know about it when it comes to March. We can all will you through it. You know what they say about people power, so good luck.
I have lost my Mum, Dad and Brother now, my Mum in March…My Dads car was left and offered to myself, but I could not face it at the time. I have struggled immensely over Christmas and The New Year and went to sleep early to shut it out. Take one day at at time it’s very very hard and hurts so much inside x
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I will let you know come March
Hi Linda. Six months isn’t long…and it seems that you’re not comfortable about letting the car go to another home yet…so don’t. You will know when that time comes. It is very hard to part with our beloved’s belongings but perhaps taking photos, making a collage or just keeping some very special items is enough… The real memories are in our hearts.
Take care of yourself.