From being able to be easy in my new relationship. I feel my late husband will not let me go and I can’t make things work with my new partner. He’s a lovely kind man, he has given me company and support. I couldn’t bear the loneliness, I think if I get left alone again I will perish.
My heart has a fence round it. I just cannot feel as I ought. Nobody knows how much I struggle in my head. When alone my thoughts always go to him, back to the heady years when we were first together and the world was ours ,the love of my life.
In life he was a jealous man, which was fine, as neither of us ever looked at anyone else. We needed nobody but each other. How lucky I was to love and be loved equally back. He understood me as nobody else ever could.
Is it possible to be happy again?
Hi Rachel. Yes it is possible to be happy again. I was married to my first Husband for 37 years before he passed away - I loved him dearly but he was not easy to live with. About a year after he passed away I met someone else and we got married three years ago. It was a different sort of love - perhaps our age and life experiences had something to do with that. We were so happy but he passed away suddenly seven months ago. Of course I used to think about my first Husband and at times even feel guilty about meeting someone else and being so happy. But in the cold reality of things you are the one who is left and life is short so my advice would be to grab whatever happiness you can. Once again I find myself alone and it is almost killing me. Hope this helps you x
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Dear Rachel50
Welcome to our pages. I think Kimmielou’s response was probably reassuring to you and hope mine will be too.
The only barrier to your personal happiness is you, as you know. It’s no one else, so by your comments I would say you are not ready to commit to this other love yet.
You don’t say how long you’ve been without your husband, but for you, although you need love and even want it, you maybe have to give yourself a timeline to see if you feel differently after say, three to six months. If your new man is prepared to wait then that is your answer to future happiness isn’t it?
Only you know what is right for you, but don’t rush things. If it feels right - do it!
Best of luck and let us know how you get on.
Miche24
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Hi
Thankyou.
I have to say my new man and I have been living together for several years now. I do love him but - emotionally I just cannot completely be happy. I hoped time would settle me and perhaps will do yet. That is why I will not commit to marriage, that for me is as yet a step I cannot take. This saddens us both but he knows I just cannot.
Only time will tell.
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Oh wow, you have truly had to deal with so heavy a load. I am so sorry.
Sometimes I wonder if this life is really just a sea of sorrows punctuated with the odd moment of happiness.
I am so sorry for both your losses. X
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