Will going on a little holiday with the family at the end of week just for a few days it will be my first fathers day without out my husband don’t know how iam going to get though it Frist time away too i do whan to make new memories but it has not been a year yet and i have that to come i feel bad having fun i know he would be saying to me injoy your self he was like that i have always put family and loved ones before myself allways have saw iam finding it hard i miss him saw bad love you mike 
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Hi @Suzanne1966 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
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Hello @Suzanne1966. I think holidays are part of the process of moving forward and we feel guilty about going without the loved one we have lost.
Our beloved son passed away at the end of May last year and as he was severely disabled, we had cared for him all of his life. Holidays were a big part of our life with him although because of the complexities of his disabilities we stopped going abroad about 10 years ago, but still had lots of lovely holidays in this country.
We went away about a week after his funeral, it was a holiday that had been booked for some time so we decided to still go. If I’m honest with you it was too soon for me. I went through the motions but didn’t really enjoy it, it was almost as if I was in another world and expected my ‘old life’ to return when I got home and he would be there. I was very down on our return.
Please do not let this put you off as we went away, for a short break, a few weeks ago and felt much better about it. I still had moments of sadness but he was a fun loving chap and would have wanted us to have a good time. I think like with other things the firsts are always difficult and on reflection that first holiday was too soon for me.
We are going to Greece in a few weeks to a place we used to go to with our son and which he had many happy holidays. I know I will have mixed emotions but I have such lovely memories of us being there with him and that will be a great comfort.
I hope you have a good time and don’t feel bad about having fun. This is not what we would choose but our loved ones would want us to go on and they are always in our hearts no matter where we are.
Take care and enjoy your break with your family❤️
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Hi, just thought I would let you know I went away for a short break with my daughter and two young grandsons recently . I was so frightened and didn’t really want to do this but forced myself. We went to an area my beloved husband of 47 years and I had been too many times . The sun shone and it was so beautiful . I felt very at peace and felt very close to my husband and my daughter felt very close to her Dad. It was sad coming home to the empty house again . I would say give it a go you may find it helpful , I hope so. Much love and prayers for you xx
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Hi @Suepatricia, good to hear that you managed to find some comfort on your break with your daughter and grandsons. Holidays are like every other aspect of the grieving process and it is so different for everyone. I fully understand how you felt on your return, I felt so overwhelmed by the emptiness of our son not being there and it took me a while to get over it. As I said we have been away since and that wasn’t so bad. It’s like every aspect of this awful journey we are on and you have to move forward at what ever pace you are comfortable with. Take care and I hope you can get comfort on future breaks.