My husband died suddenly in May this year , the support from family and friends I have received and continue to receive has been amazing and I truly appreciate this.
Im going away on a cruise next week , just me , I feel I really need some space to process what’s happened and try and move on from the all encompassing sadness I’m feeling .
I shall take Alans photo with me and will be on a ship and going to places that we never did together to minimise any trigger reminders.
I’m struggling today and really panicking about how the reality of being on my own for the first time may hit me. Just wondered if anyone had been through this and any advice.
Hello Sally,
I was really interested to read your post. I don’t have any advice to offer, but I’ve been thinking about doing something similar myself. I lost my wife in April, and I think getting away and having a break from the house might do me good. But every time I start looking at flights or hotels – or even just imagine myself somewhere new and on my own – I start to get cold feet. Losing someone so dear has really affected my confidence, and I sometimes feel quite panicky at the thought.
I do think you’re right to give yourself that time and space. It sounds like you’ve thought it through carefully, and I hope the trip gives you some peace and strength.
I have cruised many times and for solo travel it’s the safest /easiest way of being alone and also you will have plenty to do and see so doubt you will have time to overthink it all. There are also so many quiet areas on a ship where if gets too much you can escape to or just go back to your cabin. Well done for plucking up the courage to do it and there will be many others in the same boat (pardon the pun lol). We tend to panic about the unknown….but the unknown can also be surprisingly good for us. It builds confidence and freedom and sense of achievement. Hope you have a fabulous time and remember hubby will be right there with you
Ive done a few solo holidaysover the last 2 years, none on a cruise but you will be fine. Enjoy the new places and make memories and also relax. Remember you only have to join in any activities if you want to. X
I’m on a similar timescale to yourself and I did actually go away for a weekend soon after Sue died this had been booked months earlier, on reflection I think it was too early and I was not ready for it. However I am going away for a few days next week with my son and his partner and as you I am feeling it’s a daunting task as our confidence is understandably low. I have thought about booking a cruise in the future as I understand it’s a good option for solo travellers. I hope you get on well and please let me know how you found it.
I’ve been feeling very anxious about everything really ( which just isn’t me normally ) I’ve read and processed books on grief but no one talks about the anxiety
Hi. I think it’s marvellous you doing the cruise. I admire you for doing it.
I haven’t solo cruised but I did meet people on our cruise last Xmas that were solo travellers and they enjoyed the experience.
Sadly I’ve become one of those who might have to holiday on my own after losing John in March. It’s unlikely as I do have single friends and family but if I was to then I’d opt for a cruise.
You can choose exactly what you want to do and can asked to be placed with like minded travellers at dinner etc. I think they have meet ups during the day at entirely your choice if you want to attend.
I actually think travellers on cruises are very friendly too asking which trip you’re doing in port and then asking later how you found it, there seems to be more interaction somehow.
I really hope you enjoy it.
Sally, I suddenly lost my Pat 5 1/2 years ago. I returned to motorcycling after 34 years and joined two clubs, one is very active at holding weekends away and some lovely destinations, but as I rode to some locations my eyes filled with tears thinking, “ Pat would have just loved to be here” We’d made many visits to Benidorm and our eldest son suggested, “ Dad you can visit the places you and mum visited” That was another mistake but then that was within the first year. Typing out this message even after 5 1/2 years has tears running down my face. Other people may react differently as I’m sure others will say, this is just how it is with me. Mick
Hi Sally, I lost my wife in July 2024 and went on holiday in October 2024, to a place which was our last z so holiday together. It was hard at first, I won’t lie. However it gave me time alone to take in everything that had happened. However on the flip side I would go to the coffee shop on the way to the beach for a coffee as we used to and sit at the same spot and I felt so close to her and at peace. I done the way back in the late afternoon and had a beer or two, again in the same spot!! The staff were lovely and gave me time alone despite needing tables! They alway told me to sit back down and the hugs were plenty…. Don’t be afraid. Reflect on the past and remember the good times! Tell people why you’re there etc. and you’ll get a few kind people looking out for you - Always important! I hate the way we’re charged so much more, but that’s another topic. Try to look forward to it and relax and be prepared for a few tears! That’s why God gave us tears😇
I travel solo with a coach company its fun I meet new people but I dont go back to places we went together as those are special places and special memories that I never want to change.
Holidays alone can give you the space to be you for a few days, no family or friends asking how are you today, no fake smile and you can do whatever you want.
I never thought I would be travelling alone at 62, never mind doinga coach holiday but I actually enjoy it and I always try to book solo trips rather than ones for couples as well.
I’m off to Germany on 1st December for a few days shopping then Belgium end December for New Year. I look at it life can’t get any worse than it already is so I may as well try to enjoy what I have left.
Well I’m here, Alans photo is by my bed and it feels ok . I’ve chatted and mixed to be polite and to just a few people I’ve told my story and I’ve been met with kindness . I’m reading a lot, watching selective films when I want to be on my own and just sitting and remembering and trying to be kind to myself. It’s not great but it’s as good as it can be. So thank you the support I have received on here has been enormous x
Hi @Sally65 . A few months after Penny died, and I’d decided I had to move forward, I began to think about holidays. Rather bravely (I think) I decided that it would be better to go with my memories, rather than try to forget them. So I booked my first holiday, in a cottage in Wales, where we went several times. To start it was certainly difficult, but I just sat in the garden where we used to sit, and spent lots of time chatting to her about our lives together, and the times we sat together in that garden. Of course there were tears, which I could shed in private, but there were even more smiles. As the week went by, the smiles won out. I’ve since been on several holidays we went on together, and it got easier and easier, the happy memories got stronger and the tears got less. I feel more and more she’s with me.
That first step was difficult, but I’m extremely glad I took it.
Mick