I am just wondering if it’s just me but I really don’t want family (especially), invading my/our own space and sacred place at home prior to my husband’s funeral next week. I might sound incredibly selfish but I don’t want to be making brews and us just be looking around the home and saying, he liked that, I bought him that, would it be alright if I had that…" It still smells of him…" grrrrrrr. I have been sleeping on the sofa ever since he passed away there a fortnight ago.We married in April since after his diagnosis so although we have been life partners I am new to the rellie in-law thing’ ago and I don’t even want anyone sitting on the sofa apart from Nigel cat. Could we just to cups of tea in town?..Any thoughts… xx
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I felt I didn’t want to be with anyone. I have always made decisions and did my own thing. Richard never had an opinion. If he felt strongly about something, he would say. Then my children came for the funeral. I actually felt invisible and was on the outside looking in. They made decisions on my behalf!! That has never happened. I’m 61 not 91. I have family coming to stay for a few days, they have booked an airbnb just up the road. That suits me. I am a very different person since R passed. I don’t want to cook huge roast dinners and wait on people. I am not doing it. Do what feels right for you x
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Thank you Mbg. I, like you, think I will become a very different person if I am not beginning to already. My dear Mum wants me to cook a ready meal and keep warm. She is trying to fix’ her child, I know. But I don’t want to be fixed’.
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Awww bless your Mum. I have worked, cooked, cleaned, washed and ironed. Taken my children to every after school activity. My life has revolved around them and their needs. Even now when they are adults!! I feel I have put my life on hold for everyone. It has not been appreciated. So it is time for me!! I think I am going to try this thing called “Selfish” I will let you know how it goes. Take care and hugs x
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Pooka, there is no reason for you to entertain family or guests or have anyone rummaging around in your home while you are in the worst days of your life. It is your home, not a hotel, a pub or a tea house.
You don’t have to let anyone into your space. Select a nice little neighborhood restaurant to gather together after the funeral.
If anything get your best GF to come stay and be with you before the funeral to help you get through it all.
Much love.
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Thank you PeachesDixon,
I might be being a bit disingenuous and doing family a disservice, but I feel I don’t want them in the house atall and not just before or after the funeral. I have this feeling they might want to ear mark’ things for the taking. I know I am being petty and small minded but I don’t want any claim on things at this time unless I offer them in the fullness of time regarding what he might have wanted. I need time to think about it first and mindfully consider.
Much love Roz
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