Hope my son reached Heaven 😥

I lost my 21 year old son 3 weeks ago , tragically and unexpected , we are still waiting for cause of death via inquest !! We as a family are numb with grief , despair and loss , my son was 1 month past his 21st birthday , he had diagnosis of Asperger and suffered with his mental health (psychosis) sectioned a couple of times both voluntary and involuntary , he was the most gentle beautiful soul ever😥 I am experiencing a variety of emotions , guilt , helplessness , anger , pain is unbearable wish I could turn the clocks back , my life has changed forever more , miss you so much my beautiful boy , xxx

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Sending you a massive hug! I’m so sorry for your loss. :heart:

We lost our son just over two years ago under very similar circumstances,one day he was happy and healthy (or so we thought ) and two days later when my husband went to see him he was on the floor dead…the shock and utter despair that it brought was indescribable …they did a postmortem and a toxicology test and then we had to wait about four months for the verdict, both tests had come back clear so from his medical records the conclusion they came to was arrhythmia .I had been dreading the inquest but the coroner and everyone at the hearing was so lovely and so caring and did their best to put us at ease…
The emotions you are feeling are quite natural and I think all us Mothers feel the same…time heals a little and some days you feel better then others… but the longing to see them again never leaves you we just have have to be grateful that we had them in our lives,but the question is (Why not forever).
I am so very sorry for the loss your son he sounded a lovely and remarkable person you must have been so proud of him as I am sure he was of you
Take care of yourself…your son would be unhappy to see you crying all the time…I know it helps me to think that…Love and a big kiss…Marina X

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I’m so sorry to read about your loss.
My younger son Henry died on 20th October 2019 - he was 30 years and 15 days old. It was such an awful shock and in the early days I was in shock, crying constantly and unable to function. I am still waiting for an inquest date.
Henry suffered with mental health. When medicated properly he was a wonderful person however he often stopped taking his meds and also took recreational drugs.
Our lives are forever less with Henry’s absence. I feel fortunate to have had the time I had with him as does his brother and all his family. I’m also blessed with a wonderful grandson from Henry who gives us all a reason to continue.
I wish I could say the pain lessens…it does not, but the time between the pain and tears does extend.
I’m able to drive again and am living with my son in my heart until we are reunited.
I’m thinking of you and your family.
Love and hugs, Purple

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I feel your pain August2020. My son died by suicide around 5 weeks ago and sounded very much like yours. The emotions you describe are exactly what I’m feeling, the guilt, the pain, wanting to turn the clocks back (something I keep saying). My son lived with me, just the two of us and I miss him so much, it’s eerily quiet. I find waking up in the morning and night times the worst. I can’t even begin to think about going back to work yet as my job is pretty stressful but I know I’ll have to at some point. Big hugs x

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Hi All thank you for your support it’s reassuring to know there are people experiencing this , but so sad too , I would not wish this pain on anyone ever !! I am burying my son this Friday and feel lost without him , I’m wracked with guilt , feel was there more I could have done , don’t think I will ever recover , miss him so much , it comes in waves of grief , knots of grief in my stomach , feel sick and anxious , all the time , it’s nice to be able to speak to you all thank you guys xxx

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I’m so deeply sorry for your loss- it’s so very cruel. I lost my beautiful daughter without any warning at all on 24th September 2019 aged just 20. She was beautiful,bright and full of life. She was our only child. There has been no cause of death identified and we too will have an inquest to deal with.
Losing a child is something no parent should ever have to face and I still struggle every single day.I recognise all of the feelings expressed by you and the other parents in their replies- she was my world, my only child and I lived for her. Even though I still go on- I know I will never be the same again and all I long for is to be with her again.
Life is and can only ever be a very pale imitation of what it was when she was with us and I know that. I
literally get through a day at a time and each morning it feels so hard to get up and carry on and I wish I didn’t have to face another day without her.
There is nothing I can say that will help other than all those emotions you feel are felt by us all- you are not losing your mind and you are not alone. With much love to you and your family xxx

Hi Caitlin ,s mum thank you so much for your reply , I’m so sorry for the loss of your only child , I suppose it never gets any easier , I’m torn apart my heart aches every minute of the day , and sometimes I forget , and then a wave of anxiety hits and knocks me off my feet , I too can’t wait to join my son and be with him forever , but until then I hope I can get through this dark desperate. Time . Your daughter sounds amazing and you have wonderful memories of her and she is with you in spirit , I take solace that my son is with me every day , take care and I send love , light and positive thoughts for you and your family xx

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Dear August2020

My younger son was cremated in early November. I have to say I understand you feel things can never get any better- I was totally broken when Henry died. However I still have my husband, my other son, a grandson and extended family. I realise I will one day be reunited with Henry but whilst on earth I should enjoy the living and all their love. The pain is the same for me but I don’t feel it every second of every day as I used to…I’m getting stronger and Henry is helping me. I have his love and he has mine. Things will become less raw for you. Sending love to you and your family :heart:

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