Hope your ok

So, how many times have you received this message? Hope your ok :grinning: x.
Firstly it should be you’re (sorry to be pedantic), is this a rhetorical question, does the sender really want to know? did they quickly send it as it was on their list to do and they feel better that they’ve done their bit.
I never know how to respond, if they really cared they would call, wouldn’t they.
Has anyone else experienced this ?

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Mandy, you are right and people don’t know what to do or say, so even if they ring they don’t know what to say. It’s sad but because we don’t talk about death or grief it’s difficult for everyone. The saddest thing is if they don’t try to talk at all and just disappear into the woodwork. If possible try to talk to the ones that you feel happy to try and hope things may improve. I do hope so. Sxxx

Dear Mandy

I dislike texts from people and especially those that ask how you are and then tell you to continue to ‘stay strong’. If they bothered to call they would get a sense of how we were coping at the time and for me personally would be able to understand that I am not strong and therefore continuing to be strong is not possible. Texts are so impersonal, merely a ‘tick-box’ exercise for those who really do not want to hear the truth but be allowed to continue with their lives. I now do not reply - silence speaks volumes.

The goods friends/family (and they are few in numbers) are those that will listen when you cry and still give you a regular call.


No I’m not okay

I’m wide awake, I’m sleep deprived, don’t say I’ll be okay. My broken heart slowly dies, a little more each day. So please don’t ask me how I am, if you’re expecting me to say. That I’m all good, I’m doing fine, ’cause no, I’m not okay. My heart is tearing through my chest, my eyes are red and sore. I’m in such a mess, I cannot think and I’m not who I was anymore. I’m not thinking you don’t understand, or you haven’t been here as well. Just don’t say they’re in a better place, when I’m living in this hell
This is one of my favourite poems


Says everything there is to say about where we find ourselves and how we feel after such a huge loss. Thank you for posting.

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