Im so sorry Romski that you are going through this 
. I like you feel compeled to light a candle in church for some sort of spiritual comfort. Thinking of you and hoping that all of us who are experiencing emotional pain are being watched over and guided through this 
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Belated birthday wishes
I to am alone and find this online community such a help when I feel at my lowest. Just by reaching out you know that others are out their and share your feelings and your pain and you are not alone.
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Thank you Shoelaces,……. please don’t trip up over Christmas., stay safe