Hopelessness

Ive recently lost my husband and im finding it really difficult to cope, i see a counsellor each week and have contact with my Dr regularly, the problem is ive started to self harm and i dont seem to be able to stop, i have tried but its started to be the only way i can keep my anxiety under control and its started to frighten me but i still cannot stop.
Ive spoken to my therapist and shes told me I have a form of OCD because i literally cannot go about my daily routine without cutting.
Im already on antidepressants but they dont seem to help.

Hi Nis,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your husband and that you are struggling with self harm. It is good to hear that you are getting support from a therapist and your doctor, but I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t yet able to stop the self harming.

This Online Community is a supportive place for you to share your feelings and get support from others in similar situations. I hope it helps a little to be able to get things off your chest here. You may wish to have a look at our Losing a Partner section to find others who have lost their husband, wife or partner: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-partner

You may also find it helpful to contact Self Injury Support who offer support with self harm to women and girls - they have a phone line, text support and webchat support. Find out more here: https://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/our-support-services

The Samaritans are also there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Thinking of you at this awful time I’m the same I lost my soulmate of seventeen years six months and five days ago my life is empty my hopes and dreams have been stolen from me so cruelly and brutally please take care and think of what your partner would say about self harm keep on seeing your therapist your in my thoughts take as much care as possible x

Thank you Ade, I spent 22 amazing years with my husband, he was my best friend and I feel lost without him.I still find myself waiting to tell him little silly things when he comes back in and then realise hes not going to and it kills me again.

Thank you priscilla.

So sorry to hear it’s absolutely heartbreaking me too look out of the window thinking he will walk up the street tell myself my partners at the shops or in hospital doesn’t seem real or right we had seventeen years together all our future mapped out dreams and hopes to be growing old together everything is gone here’s to another long lonely silent night full of sorrow and disbelief take care speak soon x