It is probably a reflection of how difficult today is, but I am having to keep reminding myself to take our own advice and just through the next hour.
I was tackling sadmin yesterday, the calculator was still on the table. It is 2,214 hours since he died. Each one of which I have ‘got through’.
What a miserable woman I have turned into.
I wish I could remember how I survived the death of my first husband sufficiently to eventually meet and very slowly fall in love again. But I obviously did, or I would not be mourning my second husband. I do remember honestly believing I could never be happy again. I even told my sister that the rest of my life would be alone ‘as a testament of my love’. What a pompous dick!
Anyway, I was wrong.
Now I have to find out how to survive once again. I just can’t remember how.
Xx
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Willow112, you haven’t turned into a miserable woman at all, just a very sad one!! To think you’re having to go through this truly dreadful time a second time is heartbreaking but you are a testament to survival, which shows your strength. Sending you love and hugs to get through another day xx
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You’re not miserable, Willow, and you’re doing great; you’ve got so much to cope with on top of your grief. One day you’ll look back and realise that actually, you did bloody amazingly! We all will, I think. 10 months ago I never thought I’d be able to get through a day without him, feed myself every night, and cope with a myriad house problems. All of us on here are heroes in our own small way.
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