Michael
I totally understand what you mean about not being able to listen to your favourite music show. Scott loved music but I can’t put music on in case one of our songs come on.
We used to love watching suoerbikes and superbikes Sunday was one of our special days which we really used to love, but again I’ve stopped watching it, it’s not the same that was our special times. I tried the other Sunday, but just cried all time it was on and it just made the heartbreak and loneliness even harder.
Hi Jane yes I cannot do anything now that reminds me of Judith,listen to music never now makes me cry too much ,places we went to when they come on TV again it makes me cry,I am grieving so much it hurts.You must know how it is by your message.It is the loneliness that is the worst,empty house as well ,knowing she was around was so comforting,this new life is not what I wanted ,I do not know how to carry on without her .You take care as well. Michael.
Michael,
I know what you are going through. But it does eventually get easier. I was the same with going places and certain song and music. Now when I hear certain songs it now makes me smile. I went for fish and chips by the beach one night as we loved doing that and just burst into tears but as time went by I was able to do things like that again. I have even managed to go away on a short break on my own did not know how I was going to feel as it was a place we went together. Turned out I actually enjoyed it as it was a happy place for us. I am now looking at going to Spain in the spring. I am now coming up for a year and still have bad days but the good ones now outweigh the bad. I am now able to smile and even laugh again. I still rattle round my house but have made changes which has also helped me. It really does take time…
Brian
Hi youve nearly echoed how i feel, i lost dawn 12montha ago on nov 30th so its nearly on me looming ready to pounce i have a 26 yr old lad goes to work on shifts an we have spoke about the home which is just a house now, dawn passed away in room i sit every night she was 53 im 52, ive done a diary for 12 months to see how my head has changed, an sorry to say i feel nearly as bad as last year, but more lonely as people seeing how i am has faded somewat, one thing i was only thinking today is im so glad i have dawns ashes here in room she died it sounds daft but doesnt feel as final silly i know, but gives me something to come back to on a night , its helpful knowing ya not on ya own an other people feel same take care
Thank you Brian for taking the time to message me.You are very brave to do those things which at the moment are out of the question for me as it would tear me apart.Hope time works for me .Michael.
Michael
Trust me it will it takes time. You will never get over this but you will adjust and it will get easier the dark cloud will lift higher and you will smile again.
You will find this site a great help as talking really helped me. You are doing it your way it is still raw for you but you seem to be getting there. Cry when you want. Smile if you want and don’t feel guilty. You will get through this even if you don’t think so you will. Think of this page as a journal and stay on it. Keep posting how you feel and you will see a change and get support from others that have been or going through what we have or are going through
Brian
Does anybody on this site, feel they can eventually get used to the loneliness, perhaps even embrace it. Is it possible? Would love to hear other peoples thoughts on this. Personally, I don’t think I will ever get used to it or adapt…….
It’s hard isn’t it because it’s exactly what my husband wouldn’t have wanted - to cause his wife and kids so much pain. I think we will all come to get used to it but I can’t ever embrace it because it’s opposite to what I wanted out of life.
Getting used to it now, but will never embrace it. It is a very different way of living if that what you can call it…
I am finding it a bit harder again with the longer nights but that is another hurdle to get past.
I always think that it doesn’t matter how busy or not I am during the day or evening, there will always be void in my life that cannot be filled.
The silence of an empty house is deafening ……
I am coming up to 28 months since my darling wife passed away. I still find the loneliness overpowering, I don’t think I will ever get used to it , we were married 43 years. I still have my wife’s ashes in the sitting room , and talk to her every day and always say goodnight. What used to be a happy joyful home is now just a house to live, eat and sleep in. We also had a campervan and used to love weekends away in it . Now it’s just sit in front of the tv on my own watching rubbish. I think we all feel the same.
Mike.
I cannot ever see a time when I will be able to cope with the loneliness,it is tearing me apart and causes me to go into panic mode and start calling people to talk to,the silence in the house now that Judith has gone is horrible.After 32 years together being alone scares me to death.Michael.
Had the first anniversary of my husbands death last week. I have to say that I feel lonelier now than I did at the beginning. I’m trying to build some sort of life for myself - but find friends and even family are dropping away now and it’s just down to me. Never felt so lonely in my life. Sorry to be so downhearted - had a very bad day yesterday- never saw a soul - and today not much better so far. Was married over 48 years and with him 52 years - since I was 15. Not known adult life without him. Reading all your stories does help a bit and makes me feel less on my own.
Just remember that you are never alone on this site as we are all here for each other and just wish we could give you a big hug. It will have to be a virtual one instead but the thought and friendship is still there.
Yes it is the loneliness that gets to you and when you get these bad days like we all do it is even worse when you are all alone.We are all together on here living this nightmare and on this horrible journey living with our grief.Much love to all suffering today and everyday.Michael.
I lost my husband 16 months ago and it took a while before I started getting anxiety problems and my blood pressure was raised I’m now on medication and it has settled down eventually . I live in a three bedroom Flat which is too big for me now but my son stays with me twice a week .I have been away once on my own since his death and am having a break the beginning of December again . It does take a long time to realise your there on your own the worst time is in the evening and now the dark nights .
