My Ian passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 21weeks ago. I’ve just got back from spending the weekend with my sister and I had to make numerous stops off the M5 as I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying as I left her house, knowing I was returning to my empty house.
I think I’m making progress and then the flood gates just open. I just can’t believe that Ian’s future was so cruelly taken from him. That was all I could think about for the long drive down.
It was lovely being in company over the weekend but it just brings home the loneliness of an empty house. It is all just too much at times……
My husband was called Ian he was 65 when he passed it was a shock but I will never forget that day but I’m starting to get about I still work I retire in 18 months time I work in a care home I do volunteering for the hospital to meet different people it does get easier but it took me a long time .Lorraine x
Hi Lorraine, I work in a hospital and retire in 3 years time, will never get to enjoy that retirement with my lovely husband, he died a 64 years old. Managed to get a shower earlier on, it’s a small step, but finding the motivation to do the smallest tasks is an enormous effort. The loneliness is snapping at my heels again tonight. Would love to just go to bed and sleep but sleep escapes me, yet again, sending you love and support x
I agree the long dark winter nights are going to be awful for me this time without my darlibg Judith.Going to be really tough to get through the winrer this time.Not looking forward to it at on my own.So unhappy so lonely so empty.Michael.
I felt like that last year as it was the first Xmas without my husband I know I have my family but when I came home from my daughter’s on Christmas day in the evening it was very lonely I could have stayed but I wanted to come home and new year’s eve I know we couldn’t go out I went to my son’s it wasn’t the same the winter is the worst time when we have to stay in but I’m looking forward to the new year and the spring .
I do not know how I will cope this Xmas without her,not looking forward to it at all.Not even with some family around me,without Judith it is all pointless.Michael.
I feel your pain. I thought I was doing so well trying to move forward, last weekend total melt down. Can’t eat, anxiety through the roof, disturbed sleep. Today I have the shakes. I just want to curl up and sleep for ever
Thank you Dee,I don’t think that I can take much more of this,the pain of grief and the sudden meltdowns which I get as well are just ruining what is left of my life now that Judith has gone.I have just had a few mouthfuls of cereal ,that is about as much as I can eat at the moment,my weight down by a stone and a half since Judith passed away,sleeping pills not helping that much at all and thet are nearly gone,have to see the doctor again tomorrow.This is a living hell.Much love Michael.
Although it is only 5 months since my fabulous wife Sylvia died. Friends have persuaded me to go on a cruise with them over Christmas & The New Year to avoid being on my own at home as I have no family.
On one hand I am looking forward to the break away from a lonely house, on the other it will be very hard as the last cruise I did with my wife was Christmas 2019 with the same friends before the cancer diagnosis.
I am sure there will be moments when I will stay in my cabin and cry my heart out as I am now but her wish was for me to try and move on with my life which was hard for her to say and even harder to do but to honour her memory I feel I must try.
I know it’s quite soon but it will be good for you to get away I found last Xmas very sad I didn’t really want to be with anyone but my family said you must not be on your own your wife would want you to enjoy life I know it’s hard for us I hope you have a nice time with your friends . Lorraine
I went on a cruise about six seven years ago on p and o azure to Spain Portugal and Guernsey with my husband I would like to do another one maybe next year to the fjords in Norway .
My husband Martin and I enjoyed cruising. Always with P& O. The Fjords was the last one we did together in 2016. A month later we became owners of our adorable cockerpoo and our holidays changed forever as we would never leave her.
You are very brave to do that.I am having a really bad moment right now,all alone in this empty house crying my eyes out for her,why did you leave me in this lonely world,I know you were very ill and had to go but I miss you so much my darling I am no good without you.Michael x
Mickey
I am going through exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you and the keyboard is a blur from the tears. One of the last things my wife said was “try not to grive too long try and move on with the rest of your life, I have had a good life and was lucky to have you to share it”. As hard as it is I need to honour her memory by trying to do that.