How can I get rid of this guilt

I had a chance to say goodbye to grandad but I was filled with hate and anger towards him to even admit that I loved him so much and now much I was going to miss him so I threw away the only chance I had and at the funeral I didn’t realize that till the curtains closed,that was the first time I cried bout losing my grandad, and the guilt of not saying goodbye to him is eating me alive day by day
All I want to do is say goodbye to him my ant is not even letting me have some of his ashes

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Hi @lilymc,

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandad. You’re not alone - many people who are grieving experience these feelings of guilt and sadness about not saying goodbye.

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to write to your grandad as a way of saying what you want to say to him? We have some tips on starting a grief journal here which might be helpful:

I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, too.

Take good care,
Seaneen