Hi
I lost my beautiful daughter and best friend on the 31st Dec 2020 aged 30 years old suddenly with Covid, I’m laying in bed struggling to get up and face the day , she’s on my mind constantly along with how can I be with her again , every night I say to myself please don’t wake up , i m quite a healthy person but all I think about is wanting to become ill and die so I can be with my daughter , I would never harm myself because I have my husband and son but I just want this terrible pain to go away , people say to me you had 30 wonderful years with her and memories to cherish forever but I wanted more , life is so unfair and cruel, I’m heartbroken xx
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Hi Ali, my heart goes out to you, I can only imagine what you are going through, I do hope you can get some support through this site, have you had any counselling or contacted your GP for help ? Your husband and son must be grieving as well, there’s counselling services available through the Sue Ryder and Cruse, sending love and hugs Jude xx
Hello
I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Me too I just lost my beautiful daughter and feel lost ever since. We all share the same devastating pain. I have a son and grandson for whom I have to keep going. My heart goes to you. We should stay strong for our beloved daughters.
Love
Hi
Thankyou for your message
I’m sorry you ve also lost your beautiful daughter , life is so unfair and cruel , I feel lost and empty too,everyday is a struggle , I’m living a life i did not choose and do not want , I miss her so much , my thoughts are with you
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Hello Ali
I am so sorry that you have lost your precious daughter to covid. There has been so much suffering and sadness over the past year. It is early days and the pain is so raw and you must still be feeling overwhelmed with sadness and shock.
I lost my son at the end of January, he was 32 and a lovely kind, caring, funny person and I miss him so badly and wonder how I can go on as well and often wish I wouldn’t wake up. Stephen has left two small children and a young wife which is so cruel.
Stephen didn’t die from covid but the vaccine which was meant to protect him. He is one of the few people who had a rare immune response to the AstraZeneca vaccine and suffered a Cerebral thrombosis and low platelets.
I hope you have support.
Sending love
Anne
Hi Anne
Covid has destroyed so many lives in many different ways , I am so sorry you lost your son in the most devastating way , he thought he was doing the right thing protecting himself and others and it’s left his family grieving , my heart goes out to you, the pain we live with is unbearable , I spoke to my sister’s neighbour yesterday who lost their daughter 5 years ago to cancer she said you will never get over it but it does get easier , at the moment I cannot see that , I just miss my daughter so much , we were so close ,she was so kind ,caring too and told me every day she loved me , I just want to cuddle her again
My thoughts are with you and your family
It really is a cruel cruel world we live in
Love and hugs
Ali
Hi Ali
It really is a cruel world we live in. I lost one of my older brothers back in 1989 when he was 38. My mum never got over it but she did learn to live with it.
I am happy to chat whenever you want to.
Anne xxx
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Thankyou Anne
Everyday is a struggle at the minute , all we can do is take each day as it comes , I’m here for a chat anytime too
Take care , my thoughts are with you
Ali
I find everyday a struggle as well, so I know how you feel. . Anything and everything sets meoff and it all feels so desperate. xx
Hi Anne , I agree everything is so desperate, I struggle to get up in the morning and when I’m up all I want is to go back to bed and the day to be done , I’m just heartbroken as we all are on this site , I hope you get comfort from your grandchildren who need you xx
Thinking of you Ali
I ve found these past few days so hard to get through it’s all so so hard Ali x
Hi Ali
It is so hard. I really find weekends tough as well especiallyvwith restrictions easing hearing about people socialising and spending time with family. We all feel so broken and devastated it is hard to feel any joy.
I hope whatever you are doing today you can find some moments when the pain eases a little.
Love
Anne
I lost my son Ryan aged 27 to Suicide 3 months ago and like you I feel I just want to be with him but can’t put my son & daughter through any more pain, but some days I’m struggling to find the strength to do that - I just miss my handsome boy. Why is life so cruel - take care x
I feel so much for all of you when you experience the isolated desperate days, being surrounded by family and friends yet feeling so lonely. The feeling that nothing matters anymore, the bright light that shone now extinguished. My beautiful girl Vicki aged 39 died on May 18th 2019 from bowel cancer straight in at stage 4 everything after Dec 6th 2018 is a blur. My heart is broken. On Sep 30th 2019 I lost my dad to lung cancer aged 85. It is so tough but to discover this forum has given me so much hope because you all understand how I feel, I have felt so alone in my very broken world.
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Hi Jenners, welcome to the site, as you say everybody on here has suffered a bereavement and therefore knows how you are feeling, I do hope you get some help from the people on here, sending love Jude xx
Thank you Jude 
@Anniepannie Hi I lost my daughter in March 2 days after the AstraZeneca vaccine. We are still waiting on a cause of death. All family and friends believe it was the vaccine but we have to wait for the official cause. I can’t move forward, I get so angry when they say the benefits outweigh the risks, no the effing benefits do not outweigh losing a child! My daughter was disabled and had shielded for almost a year and the temptation to be able to get out of her flat made her seek the vaccine and now she is gone!
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Hi Zecal
I am so sorry that your precious daughter was affected by the vaccine and lost her life. We trusted the vaccine as your family did and it has left us heartbroken. For us the benefits did not outweigh the risks. We are very angry as a family and it feels like our son was collateral damage to rush out the vaccine I hope you don’t mind but I will send you a private message with some information.
Sending love
Anne
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Anniepannie,
Sorry for your loss. It must be terrible to lose a life with a vaccine that was designed to save lifes.
James x