My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 14th august last year. He was given 3 to 6 months and he beat the odds surviving 11 months, dying on 20th july. We have 2 boys 3 and 7 they both have a hearing loss using BSL as main form of communication. I am struggling to help them understand where daddy has gone partly because of their age and partly the understanding is not there from the language delay and they are getting frustrated with things. I feel so lost myself im in utter disbelief i never expected to be alone in my 30s. I never sheltered them from anything through my husbands journey they saw his decline experienced his final days and purly by accident saw him moments after death. They attended his funeral and were there when they collected medical equipment. We visit daddys garden often making it look pretty with flowers and feathers that we find. Ive told them daddy lives in heaven but im struggling to answer their questions in another language in a way they understand causing further frustration on all sides and upset. Is there anything else i can do we have used books and movies. I just feel lost.
Hi @ToriaVic I’m so sorry for your loss and the struggle you’re having. I’m afraid I haven’t got much advice to give except are there any services in the area where some professionals could support you with the communication ?
I’m not even sure if there would be something for such a specific need.
Please look after yourself - I’ve got kids as well but they are older ( 2 are teenagers ) and it is so hard to try and support them while you are trying to grieve yourself as well. If you can ever find any time.
Lean on those around you for support and just take it one day at a time.
Hopefully someone will have some
Knowledge better than mine heee - it’s a really supportive community so keep posting here if it helps
Sending lots of love and strength xxx
My daughter has learning difficulties, no speech but uses Makaton signs.
She has been very confused since my husband died and has had some periods of quite challenging behaviour.
Her Day Centre obtained some NHS Bereavement Workbooks designed for children/people with special needs. They seem to think they are helping her. They also made a photo album with pictures of her and my husband.
I don’t know if you feel this might be appropriate.
Xx
Thank you so much. We have memory boxes and pictures etc we tried to plan as much as possible but there are wonderful ideas. Im hoping when they go back to school the staff there will help.im sorry your daughter is also struggling 
I’m so sorry you’re having to cope with this so young and with such young children.
I found Winston’s Wish a really good resource on how to help my children.
It can be found online.
It also has links to other bereavement support groups for kids which you may find helpful.
Most hospice’s have peer support type groups for supporting bereaved children also. You may find information on your local hospice website.
Take care of yourself xx
Thank you for your reply i will look at all your suggestions ive contacted a few places they are just not set up for the needs of some children. We had been together so long i went from living at home to being with him we have been together 18 years its a massive adjustment.
I can appreciate how difficult this is.
My husband died in June after battling cancer for 18months.
We have two kids 11 and 18, both having very different needs throughout this whole period.
I’d been with M since I was 14yrs , I’m 48 now. He was my absolute everything.
Even though we knew he would die , it’s so difficult.
Be kind to yourself and take your time 
A really good book about emotion is by Michael Rosen called SAD Book. He wrote it after the death of his son. It’s perfect for kids in explaining grief .
Child hood bereavement network is also a good resource in finding support local to you.
Childhood bereavement Uk also another good resource.
Hopefully these maybe helpful to you .
Xx
Thank you im so sorry for your loss