Is it me, or do some people just not realise how difficult Christmas can be! My husband, Ian, passed away 27 weeks ago and yet, it feels like yesterday. I’m struggling to accept what has happened and often just feel empty inside.
And yet, I received four photos from my nephew showing what a lovely time they were all having yesterday, all with their partners, drinks in their hands and laughing! My elder sister was there and she knows how very difficult it is for me.
Perhaps I’m over reacting but how could anyone think it would be ok to send such photos.
They have no idea, all I can say is wait until it’s their turn. Talk about a kick in the teeth, they may as well have just come & laughed in your face that your husband is dead & you are having the most horrendous time of your life! Of course they won’t see it that way but that is exactly how it will feel to you!
Hi Julie , I can understand how you feel I am broken to , my first Christmas without my son and his birthday Christmas Day as well. Yes others can be so insensitive, but I just try to be happy for them that they can still enjoy their Christmas , we did in the past. why spoil it for them by expecting anything from them. It’s a pity your sister has so little empathy tho , maybe she will realise how hurtful it is for you but then again maybe not, I can only hope she does and gives you some support soon. Nothing is going to make anything better for us is it , and they are not trying to upset us they just could never understand our pain , and let’s hope they never have to experience it for themselves. It is what it is for us now, life can be so cruel, we just have to try to navigate our way around this awful place we find our selves in as best we can. I hope you can soon find some peace in this dark place we find ourselves in . Sending love jss x
I can understand your feelings. None of us would want others to feel the pain that we are suffering but for me personally I prefer not to have photos shared as it depicts a life that I once had and has now gone. It also shows that they have no understanding of the pain that we are suffering.
Yes i,ve had posts and photos sent to me bragging what a great time they are having like people say wait till it’s their time think people forget that every one passes away I keep myself to myself now heard it all have you got a new Karen yet seen her in my dreams she is fine people can be so stupid I lost my partner 2/12/2020 but still get comments at work
Trixie it is not you atall…
On Christmas Eve and a card to a neighbour . I was trying so hard to put on a brave face about Christmas. My husband was ill for most of this year, and passed away suddenly in September when I thought he would get better. This neighbour almost seemed put out that I was not weeping at her door about not being with him at Christmas, and came out with something so blunt and cruel about how I should be feeling that it put me back 20 steps.
She still has her husband, and yet felt qualified to tell me what it is going to be like without mine!
The insensitivity knows no bounds with some people, so I will be giving her a wide berth in future.
All I know is my circle of genuine caring people is now a small, but precious one.
x
Hi
I’ve just returned from spending a few months with my son as not coping on my own and there was a Christmas card from a near neighbour. In it she had written that she was sorry not to have been in contact since Ian passed away, over 6months ago by then. However, she went on, she works and her downtime is precious!!! She may think that but to actually write it.
This was the neighbour who was on the doorstep early the morning after Ian passed away and kept asking about his funeral.
I’m on my own really down here, close friends and family live far away and I shall have to seriously think about moving. It seems such a daunting task and I don’t know if I can just walk away from my life with Ian. Everything is how it was when he left.
A neighbour sent me a card wishing me a merry Christmas. I tore it up and put it in the rubbish. My husbands brother sent a text also. I was very ungracious and told him how could I have a merry Christmas when my husband is dead. He should have been more sensitive especially as it was his own brother. People can be so unthinking x