How do I accept my Dad has gone??

My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer on 20th January this year and he then passed away 17th November (the day after my Birthday). It’s been 4 and a half weeks and I don’t feel like I will ever truly accept my Dad is no longer here. He was the biggest part of my life, and I never imagined at the age of 24 this would be something I would have to deal with. I would never be able to describe my Dad because words would never be able to do him justice. I am now fancing Christmas, and I couldn’t be looking forward to it anyless. I know I have to deal with the fact my Dad will not be there and I’m not sure I have it in me.
Everyone thinks I’m fine, because I put on a brave face, but the truth is I’m not even close to being fine - I’m abel to put on a brave fave because I’m struggling to accept what has happened, and don’t feel like this will ever change.
It feels wrong to say, but I can’t truly say I feel sad. I feel like I’m going to wake up and this will all be a bad dream, or I will leave work tonight, go home and he will be there - just like he always was.

Hi lyndseyanne. My mum died the same day 17th nov. I know how you feel it is truly devastating… i too put in a brave facebut when in my own i am always crying. Hard to believe that person who we lived so much isnt there anymore. Thinking if you x

Thank you - as wrong as it feels to say it’s nice to know you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. Thank you for your message, it means a lot. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through the same though - my thoughts are with you! X