How do I carry on for my children

My husband died 2 weeks ago and it finally hit me last weekend. He had been ill for 15 months they told us his treatment hadn’t worked and that because his lymphoma was so aggressive he wouldn’t make it to Christmas. He lasted two weeks and we made many memories in the hospice with our children and although I knew it would as coming it happened so fast he was fine in the morning then gone in the afternoon.
I feel empty and my children ,8 and 11 are comforting me as I’m do distraught but really it should be the other way around.
How do I get through this period. I have been referred for grief counseling but there is an 8 week wait.
His funeral is Tuesday, I just don’t know how I am going to get through it he was only 41 why is life so cruel and unfair?
I feel like I’m in a living hell!

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Dear @Gem2
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband four weeks ago today. The funeral is also on Tuesday. My children and grandchildren and sister have been wonderful but I know it’s hard for them as they are also having to be strong and carry on with Christmas for their children’s sake. I know exactly how you are feeling. The pain, loss and emptiness is overwhelming and almost unbearable. I have no words of great wisdom or a miracle cure but just know that ALL of us on here know how you feel. Keep posting and reading this forum. Big cuddle to you xx.

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Sending you both my love.

I think we do find strength from somewhere when it is for our children, no matter what age they are. However, I don’t think it does hurt them really to see your distress as they can see how much you loved their Dad. We all need to feel loved and your love for them will seem even more real when you express it.
My younger daughter has extra needs so is still quite childlike, she just hugs me when I cry, although she would rather we weren’t both upset at the same time as she wants me not to cry when she needs looking after! Not sure how to do that. :woozy_face: