How do I cope

Hello everyone again. Sorry to be a bother but I feel completely alone. Noone is calling round like they did before my husband died. I know that is because they don’t know what to say but I am so lonely. I just have my memories and I can’t think of the future. Is this a normal reaction. I feel lost and isolated
Is this all normal. love Carol


I’m sorry to say it seems a common thing. Lots of people said they would keep in touch and come and see me but apart from my family and a few close friends a lot haven’t bothered. I often feel isolated. My daughter rings me every day. If it wasn’t for her ringing I would go days without hearing from anyone.
I don’t know if it’s because they don’t know what to say or how to treat us or they think we should be ok now so they don’t need to make the effort.
It’s been 7 months for me.
Take care xx

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I feel lonely too but not up to joining clubs etc
Went for a long walk today which helped. Also listening to the radio and audio books so that there is background noise. There are so many of us in this situation. Best wishes

Hello Barbara61
Thank you so much for your message. I really appreciate it. I feel isolated and alone so I appreciate how you feel. The days are so empty and then there isn’t anyone to talk with. I just feel lost like everyone does at a time like this. I am not a club person either so I am just stuck in an empty house. I am unable to walk at present and that makes it worse. I hope things improve for you. Best Wishes


Hello Sharon60
Thank you for your message. I appreciate your time. The loneliness is awful to bear. Like you I am not a club person but sometimes wish I was. This site does help because people do get in contact and it all helps.
Best Wishes

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Hi Sharon, I lost my husband suddenly in September 2021 to a sudden heart attack. Married 37 years together for nearly 40. My family have been good to me and Im lucky to have some very good friends. My daughter is getting married in 4,weeks so understand they’re busy, I rang her weds, spoke to no 2 son yesterday. I tell them I’m ok as don’t want them upset. My no.1 son (birth order) has taken the dog tonight as I started a new job two weeks ago and working early tomo. Feeling very tearful - it’s at night when it hits me that I’m on my own, in the day I can keep busy. It’s difficult to join clubs as need to sort my dog when I go out, and don’t want to inconvenience others more than I’m doing. He suffers separation anxiety. Sandra

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How long ago did your husband die my been gone a year I also feel lost lonely and don’t know what to do with myself I have 3 adult children that are great but I feel so alone , and like you people start to leave you in your own so your just left , but I guess they all have there own life’s, I do puzzles and meditation and colouring to help me isn’t great but it’s all I have at the moment x Yvonne

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My husband Alan died suddenly on the 22nd September last year so nearly 8 months ago. I too like puzzles and have recently got into Wordle and Quordle and Sedecordle. They don’t take long to do and help
keep my mind active.

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Thank you , that’s all we can do for now I’m so sorry for your loss xx

Happy to chat if you’d like to? Busy this coming week as my daughter gets married on the 14th May but after that generally free in the evenings. Pm me if you’d like someone to talk to. x

Thank you that’s very kind of you I hope the wedding goes well take care x

Hello, hope you’re all well.
Haven’t posted for a while so I hope you don’t mind me making a suggestion.
Could you ladies not organise a zoom call or something similar.
Maybe have a ladies only group chat to combat the loneliness you feel at times or I suspect all of the time for some.
Sorry for butting in but I know exactly where you’re coming from and it cripples you.
Hope you’re feeling better today, take care.

Hi I totally understand how you feel when you first lose someone you get so much support from friends and family but as time goes on they all leave you alone and think your ok , that’s when you feel the lonely nights and weekends I have my two boys live with me but they go out and it very quite but I do meditation and puzzles colouring do take care xx

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Thanks that seems a good idea I hope your doing ok x

Hello Poppy, thanks for asking, sometimes yes, a lot of the time no.
It’s a difficult journey isn’t it and one we’ve never been prepared for.
Hope it gets better for you, take care

Hi , it’s been a year for me now I have some ok days some very bad my husband to be went very suddenly and such a shock I still can’t get my head around it, I never seem to enjoy much without him being around we were due to marry 6 weeks after he passed , we need to try keep positive and things will seem a little better in time , meditation and exercise helps it’s all so hard , take care I’m here if you ever want to talk x

Hi hope the wedding went well and how are you feeling Yvonne x

Hi Yvonne, we had a lovely day for the wedding. A few teary moments - our daughter went to see her dad in the churchyard near my house on her wedding morning and came back crying. Set us both off. She had a photo of Alan on the top table and I held her hand whilst her brothers read Alans speech (he’d written the first draft before he died). Special but emotional. I was determined to hold it together as much as I could as didn’t want to spoil her day. We’re very close and we know by looking at each other when we’re starting to get upset x. How’re you doing ? x


Oh I can understand where your coming from I’m like that with my daughter but you need to cry when you have to , I always feel better after a good cry I can feel it all building up inside me then it all comes out , my brother is getting married next week but I can’t face it as me and Tim were due to marry 6 weeks after he passed everything was done a week before he passed all arrangements finished , I can’t go as I know I will cry and upset there day and I’m do jealous that they got there day and we didn’t I know that sounds horrible x I’m not bad my daughter keeps me busy so does work one minute I had everything now I feel I have nothing but we must keep positive life’s to short xx I just want to feel myself again xx

I think being at work helps because it gives you something else to think about. I started a new job in March which has kept me busy. I can see where you’re coming from thinking you’d spoil your brothers wedding by getting upset but I’m sure, if you’re a close family, that they would understand. I think your feeling of jealousy is understandable, especially in the circumstances as not long since you lost your fiancé. Hopefully it will become easier in time. Being a singleton after being a couple is hard and seeing other happy couples just brings home the sense of loss x