Hi,
I lost my boyfriend on the 20th September he was only 18 and had no medical condition and we still don’t know what happened and why his heart stopped.
It feels like this is all a dream and I just want to wake up, I seen him at the hospital when he passed but I didn’t want to believe it was real, even at his funeral it was hard to speak to everyone of his friends because in my head it felt like a dream.
Now I’m finding it hard to do much, going out with my friends and family is a big task, I get such pain when I think of him like physical pain in my chest and everything seems to remind me of him and makes me sad. I know it hasn’t been a long time since it all happened and even tho I talk about him to everyone I know it still feels like I’m disassociated with the real world.
I don’t know what to do, it feels like everyone has already moved on and are doing things like normal and I get so angry at them for being able to do i, because I can’t can’t go into my room where he was most of the time or look at his picture and I get so worked up that I can’t remember what it feels like to hold his hands, We were together 24/7. I just want him back I want to feel as happy as I was with him. He was my soul mate and still is.
Xx
Sahib, he sounds a wonderful person and you will miss him. The things you have written are all normal grieving but for one so young it’s devastating. You are right that it’s early days and in time you will feel better but he will always be there because he was a soulmate. Give yourself time and don’t rush things, little steps to wards the future and the sun will shine again. Take care of yourself. Sxx
Thank you for your advice susie123 , I’ve been speaking to my friends and family and one person said something that really sat well with me, 'you won’t get over his death but you will find ways to live with it ’ I think that helped me alot xx
That’s good advice Sahien, it’s true, you won’t “get over” it but eventually you will come to terms with it.
It is still very early days for you and I can understand you not feeling like it’s real.
Your life will be very different, but in time you will begin to feel a little better. You are so young and to lose your boyfriend when he was just 18 is truly tragic.
Take care of yourself, keep posting on here as others truly understand. It’s good you have friends & family to talk to as well. You will get through this xx