How do I feel?

Yes it is Sadie, thanks for understanding x

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Dear Barbara, That was well put. I am so sure that many of us reading this post can identify or agree with your heartfelt feelings. I too had a lovely wife - I miss her as i sit in our home without her around. I would give anything to have her back. I sympathize with you! Please take care of yourself.
Herb

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I empathize every word, and find the feelings echoed just by ingesting the words the meanings, I can only offer this virtual hug encompassing hug.
I am at a loss to reply, words escape, I am on the other side, I do not have the neck to muzzle kiss, take that inhale of scent. I lost that in January, yet found myself living a mourning nightmare procedure, until seeing a frail, emaciated woman. Almost a stranger, smile as she saw her husband. For the first and last time.
I hate her lying there, I hate being in this position, I hate the path to a lonely Christmas. And I hate that I hate, because all I wanted, needed, loved and desired, I must never have. I want to find someone something to blame, to return this incredible inbuilt rage, yet no, I want just a hug. Just a hug. Sadsadie sweet lass, my hug is yours. Xxxxxx Colin

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Dear Colin
I agree this is the life we never wanted. So difficult to carry on alone. This site does give us somewhere to share our feelings, confusion and despair,., with others who are going through this devastating time. How I miss my darling husband, I know his suffering is at last over, but so want him back. , He passed away at New Year after the most distressing Christmas. I am heartbroken.
Our happy, life has been snatched away so cruelly. I understand how you feel about the future, its painful to think of one without them in it. Miss the hugs, the smile, he had a lovely smile, the closeness and everything we had together. I just pray that life will get a bit easier to bear , as it will, but this pain will never leave us.
Sending you a hug ,

xxChristina

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Hug received and returned

Dear Christina and Friends, I can easily understand the loss all of you have felt and going thru. My heart goes out to all of you. One thing I want to add, I recently took a selfie of myself about 2 weeks ago, (which I wish I hadnā€™t have done), but when I printed it out I saw a photo of a sad old man - the loss of my lovely has become a lot to bear - even today. One lady on this forum stated that she was not the same woman she was before. I think that can apply to all of us. When I was a kid, I saw old people in the park and wondered how did they get so old looking - well, now I know. At least I know I did. (This should not be applied to everyone as I know many of us do grow old gracefully). My photo pictures a sad man - and it wasnā€™t that long ago, I was a happy and graceful man - now itā€™s different. Maybe I shouldnā€™t have shared this but it was at the top of my mind. Sorry, didnā€™t mean to spoil your day. Thank you for bearing with me.

Hi,
Iā€™m definitely not the same person as I was before. Iā€™ve definitely aged over the past seven months , the light has gone out and I think that shows. Iā€™m now one of those sad old people.
life has to go on , but it will never be the same again .
Thinking of everyone on here . x

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Thank you x

Fully understand. I , think the same about myself. I. Usually a cheerful,Person Enjoying life, Inow. Lonely and sad
Xchristina

Dear Christina, I can identify with that fully. All I can do now is move on, but somehow, this is what I
I do now.
As always, my heart goes out to all of you. Iā€™m sure one in the future we will all be the people we once were or should be. God bless all of you!
Herb

Thank you :Greencat, I a do hope we can all make a life from this devastation. I like being a couple, being alone is not living. To me. Thinking of all who are suffering there great loss
Christina xxc
.

I understand how you must feel, itā€™s not fun or easy. I spent a good part of the winter grieving when nobody in my family (both sides never gave me a thumbs up. Sometimes I wish I was the one who died. Today, I only go threu motions, (paying bills, balancing check book, groceries, Etc.). I do it all! Now rewards in that but I guess somehow I need to keep going on. Like the British say - keep a stiff upper lip. (pardon my poor sense of humor). Stay well!
Herb aka. greencat