How do I go on without her?

Me and my brothers lost our mum about 2 months ago. It was sudden and no one was expecting it to happen, she was found on the bathroom floor by my 3 year old nephew. I feel like nothing is real anymore and I genuinely don’t think it’s going to get any better.I’m 28 and I also have a 5 year old son and now can’t even look at him knowing that this is going to happen to him one day and it’s my fault. I don’t even know how to say how I feel, I feel lost, heartbroken, devastated, distraught the list goes on. I also do have a good support system around me but wouldn’t even know where to start to tell them how I feel. When I hear someone mention their mum my heart just breaks a little bit more knowing mine is gone. Also if I was to talk to people I would depress them and I already feel sad enough for the population of the planet. I always go to phone her to tell her what’s going on but then realise.

I’m finding it hard to want to breathe these days. Is this normal?


Dear @Quinnsea

Welcome to the Community, I apologise for the delay in replying. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. Everything you are going through is perfectly normal and part of the grieving process.

Grief is a journey and not a race, it will have good days and bad days and for some people grieving can go on for years. You need to be very gentle with yourself and take one day at a time, easier than said I know. Self-care for you and your son is so important.

Have you thought about talking out aloud to your mum, this does help with your grief and is also good for your mental health. It is normal to do this. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is a useful and informative Grief Guide that will help you cope with your bereavement and grief and help you discover new ways to cope.

Sue Ryder has an article on Losing a Parent which contains helpful and supportive information for you to read. You too can connect with members here by typing the topic Losing a Parent in the search bar.

Please continue to reach out and take one day at a time. Take care.