How do I know I'm still making them proud

Hey, my gran lived with me bought me up when my mum was at work. She passed away in 2016 since then I have had issues with the fear of people leaving or worse dying. How do you deal with this. It puts so so much strain of my relationship and I accidentally push people away because of it. Has anyone got any advice x


Hi. Nounou. This is memory, and it’s stuck in your mind because of the pain it caused at the time. You can neither forget it or live with it. Recurrent grief is not uncommon and it can seem we will never be able not to think about it. You are so afraid of losing someone else. But is that not normal? We all fear death and especially that of our loved one’s, but we learn to live with it and not allow it to disrupt our lives. It’s life, and accepting that fact can help. Have you had any counselling? It’s a good idea to do so and a visit to your GP may help. If you don’t want medication they may be able to put you in touch with a counselling service. The Sue Ryder Community have counsellors too. Try not to push people away. They may not understand and stay away. It’s very difficult I know.
Your life is being made miserable by how you feel. Your gran has passed but she has not gone. Would she want you feeling like this? Advice is difficult without knowing you, but I can only suggest going with the feelings and not try to ‘get rid’ of them. Struggling against them will not help. Allow them to come but in realisation that they are only thoughts in a tired mind. Take care.

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