How do I let go

Its been 4months and 5days since I lost you pauline I love and miss you so very much you are all I can think of the love we shared was beautiful as are you our love goes so deep it engulfs everything I cry so much but I can’t let go I don’t know why I’m holding so much in the pain is so relentless never ending it cuts like a knife it consumes me as does your loss I know you are gone but I can’t accept it I don’t know how to you are part of me the best part of me I’m so lost and empty withoutyou I can’t do years like this I’m barely functioning I just want it to end I want to be with you my home my life is with you I’m nothing but a broken shell withoutyou

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Casey
A lovely poem for you and Pauline xx

Taken From Me (Poem by Angie M Flores)

I’m sitting here in my room, looking at your picture
Wondering why you couldn’t be a part of my future
Uncontrollable tears stream down my face
While my heartbeat starts to race
Asking God why he took you from my life
It was more painful than stabbing me in the heart with a knife
I still needed you here, you were the one to make everything so clear
You are a part of me, and I am a part of you
When you died, a part of me died too
I never knew how hard it was to lose someone you love
Until the day you went to Heaven above
Even though I can’t see, I know you’re up there watching over me
I miss you more and more every day and all I can do is pray
In my heart you shall forever remain

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@sad2 thank you so much that is beautiful x

@Cjs126 hi Christine I am so deeply sorry you lost Peter life is so empty without them I can never let her go she is the other part of my heart and she will always live in my heart soul and mind there will never be another I cry so much but I feel like I’m holding so much in I’m afraid to totally let go of my emotions in case I can’t stop it was our anniversary on Tuesday it would have been 21years I have been worse since then and it’s my birthday next month sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy when I’m home I don’t want to go out but I have to take our dog out and when I come home I don’t want to come in because she is not here I sit in the car putting it of for a few minutes then I force myself to come in talking to people on here does help and reading their post but yeah they also make me cry too there is so much pain and love that has been lost so many people going through heartbreak thankyou for replying to me I hope you some moments of peace stay safe and take care sending hugs x

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It is so hard Casey. I lay in bed this morning when I woke just thinking about how I no longer have my special person to share things with. What is the point of doing anything if you don’t have your special person to enjoy it with? I am just going through the motions. I know that one of us had to be left behind and I’d rather it be me to save him from the pain but I wish I had been much, much older so that I did not have much time left. This existence is just so tiring. Sending hugs

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@Cjs126 hi Christine yes I am a night owl sleep doesn’t come easy since I lost pauline like you and Peter we were always together all we needed was eachother I also notice couples when I’m out the thing is I never used to when Pauline was still alive I suppose we notice it more because we are missing what we lost i feel close to her at home and talk to her from the minute I get up until I fall asleep at night coming home is so hard with her not being here home is where the heart is my heart is with pauline I you wish well and hope you find some peace and I will be thinking of you on Tuesday take care and stay safe sending you hugs x

@Jules4 hi jules I totally agree with you it feels like there is no point to anything I will be 55 next month I know I can’t do years like this but I have to try for pauline and our pets life is so empty without them it was hard when I woke up today I had a dream that it was all a mistake and she was still alive it felt so real for a moment I believed it then the realisation hit and it tore me apart all over again even my dreams are cruel I hope you find some form of peace and I am so sorry for your pain you are in my thoughts take care and stay safe sending you hugs x

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