I found my younger brother dead in his flat last October. We were very close & I am struggling without him. He sadly had an addiction & I tried to help so many times in so may ways but it took him in the end. Not only am I missing him terribly I have so much guilt that I could of done more (even though I did so much including taking him to rehab 200 miles away fron home) & what makes it worse is i was angry with him the last time I spoke to him because he had started drinking again & I couldn’t cope. Why didnt I handle it different? This had been going on for over 10yrs & at the time I thought id tried everything but if i could have him back I’d do different things. Can’t get the thought of him dying alone, scared & sad. It physically hurts so much I dont know how I am going to go on. He was only 46 & the so loved by many, he was a vegan & love all animals & always helped the homeless & people less fortunate them himself but why couldn’t he help himself? Hundreds attended his funeral & caused a roadblock, really hoping he was watching from somewhere & saw how much he was & still is loved. Just dont know how to get though this.
Hello @SJC1 ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your brother that brings you here. You say are feeling unsure how to move through your grief and you are struggling without him.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hello SJC1
I’m so sorry for your loss. I sometimes think that sensitive and caring people struggle with the world today, and addictions can develop as they try to dull the pain of this. My own brother sounds a bit like yours, kind, vegetarian, animal lover and general all round good person. But life was just too hard for him to bear and he too had an addiction. It sounds like you did everything you could and its clear you love your brother very much. I’m sure he knew that and would want you to feel your grief, but try to keep going. In time it becomes easier to cope but the pain of loss and missing your loved one are natural responses. Please take care of yourself. Your brother would want that. I hope you have people to speak to.
Thank you & sorry for your loss. I agree he struggled with the world being the kind soul he was. Thank you for your words really do help trying to process all this.
Thank you for the information Alex